If you have the urge to go out and kill some invasive species, Florida, as always, should be your destination.
The state, which is home to the annual python bounty hunt, is sending researchers to seek out iguanas and kill them by bashing their heads in. According to reports, iguanas have taken over much of South Florida, including many local governments. In an effort to fight back, state tax dollars are paying some scientists to go on an iguana murder spree.
Still think public funding for science is a waste?
Invasion. Infestation. Invertebrates. These are three words that start with the letter I that we cannot stand here at SeriouslyGuys.
Unfortunately, they exist for a reason. One reason being that giant snails have invaded South Florida. We’re not talking snails that you’ve seen before, we’re talking about African giant snails, the type that grow up to three quarters of a foot. They make badly shot movies about these monsters! Even worse, ten thousand of them have been found. That’s a lot of ugly, the likes of which Miami hasn’t seen since Chris Bosh came to town (I kid, I kid, but seriously, the dude looks like an alien). The mollusks are known to be carriers of meningitis, eat the local flora and can seriously damage the foundation of houses in the area. Do your part, residents of South Florida-stomp out a snail today.
But that’s not the only problem with invertebrates. In the quaint town of San Diego (German for “whale’s vagina”), the brave firefighters of Station 29 have been forced to flee the station house. Why so? Those monsters of New York, the bedbugs, have infested the beds. And the clothing. And the equipment. That’s not good for anybody that needs to be saved if a firefighter is too busy scratching to save you from your burning house!
Clearly the invertebrate world is attempting to take we humans on. Don’t let that happen. We’re bigger than them (well, most of us are).
Guns drawn, cops busted down the door of a suspected south Florida drug dealer, then proceeded to rock it out – on Wii bowling. A security cam captured some playing video games while others searched for drugs and weapons.
A sheriff’s detective assigned to catalog the goods repeatedly bowled frames – and when she nailed strikes on two in a row, she raised her arms triumphantly, jumping and kicking.
Chiefs of police in three other jurisdictions forming the task force that performed the raid likewise bemoaned the bad publicity. But it could have been much worse than that. At least those two Japanese guys in the Nintendo commercials didn’t show up at the door while the cop was making some strikes.