Tag: south park

Last night’s ‘*bleep* Park’ episode

We’d like to extend a hearty congratulations to Comedy Central for almost having the courage to strike a blow for comedy and free expression.

Despite the “warnings” of a group of online Al-Qaeda wannabes, the network did air the 201st episode of South Park, which was the continuation of a two-part story concerning Muhammad and other figures the show has lampooned over the years.

Unfortunately, they also added extra bleeps, including over any mention of the name of Muhammad and the entire “I’ve learned something today …” exchange at the end. (We’d include footage, but Comedy Central refuses to release it online.)

That’s right: they covered the whole point of the episode with a long, offensive, caterwauling screech that we could still hear every time we closed our eyes to go to sleep last night. There are probably animals that are still running towards cable offices, trying to figure out who called them.

So, bravo, Comedy Central. Your cowardly sensibilities won out again, which have brought us such safe choices as “The Jeff Dunham Show” and “The Blue Collar Comedy Show.”

Remind us again: when has the safe choice ever worked out for you?

“But see, mine goes dum-dum-dum-dumdumdumdum *pause*”

And now, a piece from South Park, paraphrased solely for the purposes of this article:

“Let me show you to the coffee room, Mr. Glurrk”

Randy Marsh: (gasp) “They took my SONG!”

Stan Marsh: “They took yer song!”

Nobody likes plagiarism. At least, no one likes unrecognized plagiarism. But when it’s done by the Grammy nominated band Coldplay? That’s just straight up coldplagiarism. Yes, it would seem that the guitar god, Joe Satriani, finds issue with Coldplay’s song, “Vida La Vida”. The issue found? He feels that he’s already written the song before. For shame, Coldplay. For shame.

This guy is personally hoping that even if Satriani doesn’t win the lawsuit, he still manages to put an end to Coldplay. Seriously Chris Martin, what causes you to have to be so depressed about all the time? You’re married to Gywneth Paltrow and you make millions every year. Yeah, you co-named your kid Apple, but … look, cocaine is a helluva drug, OK?

‘This isn’t Vietnam … there are rules’

As part of our ongoing coverage of “Summer is here” — which will continue until mid-October — there’s an element we’ve forgotten: driving around.

For our high school and college readers, this is the time that you and your peers are bored and will drive around, pretending that going nowhere is “something.” For the adults, this means you’re going to a lot of stores with wedding and baby registries.

Without fail on any of these excursions, an argument will arise about the rules to calling Shotgun and Rock-Paper-Scissors (or Roshambo to non-South Park viewers). We’d normally use this as an excuse to write a How To, but someone has beaten us to it and done so throughly.

We suggest sending this link to that friend that calls Shotgun during the planning stages of your Warped Tour trip in August.

Fun Fact:
“The history of calling ‘Shotgun’ goes back to the days of covered wagons and the Wild West. On a trip across the plains, the driver of a wagon would hold the reins of his horse team and concentrate on driving. This left him and the occupants of his wagon susceptible to sneak attacks from bandits and thieves. To avoid this atrocious circumstance it became necessary for one person to sit next to the driver with a shotgun and fend off the enemy.”