The final entry in MasterChugs March Movie Mort Month is upon us. It’s loud. It’s painful. It’s got really big guns and possibly bigger muscles. It totally fits the theme for this year, which as some of you might have been able to tell, is “cinematic video-game adaptation bombs,” and boy howdy, is this movie ever a real life equivalent of Vampire Rain. That’s right, I’m talking about the one, the only, Doom. Step right in to feel the pain.
Having played all of the entries in the Doom game series, I can approach this movie from multiple viewpoints; however, I’m just going to approach it from the POV of a normal film-goer, as it tends to be the least headache-inducing.
There comes a time in every boy’s life where he makes a fateful decision: video games or computer games. While the majority tend to make the former their choice, a select few will choose the latter. Within that percentage, the majority of individuals will become privy to a series of games known as Wing Commander. A simple space flight simulator, the original game was a shining example of its time: slightly choppy full motion video heralded by a B-level actor or actress (in Wing Commander‘s case, Luke Skywalker and voice of the Joker himself, Mark Hamill) coupled with fairly revolutionary game-play. Given that the first game was created in 1990 and thus became a cult success, it only makes sense for a movie to be made based on the franchise nine years later, right? It’s OK though, because Freddie Prinze Jr. (fresh from his complimentary hit, She’s All That), relatively unheard of Saffron Burrows and Matthew Lilliard get to be attached to it, and thus 
SeriouslyLadies and Gentlemen, we have a tie for Picture of the Day and Headline of the Day, courtesy of 
Proving that no good comes of mixing space and bugs, the Russians have