The Statue of Liberty turned 125 today, which was observed by a celebratory bash just before shutting her down for repairs. 125 immigrants were sworn in as Americans and …. Wait, really?
Folks, not only did more than 1000 American and French people in attendance observe Lady Liberty’s role in welcoming new arrivals from the east, but they also observed her role in Ghostbusters II:
“After the American and French national anthems were played, actress Sigourney Weaver read ‘The New Colossus,’ a poem by Emma Lazarus inscribed under the statue in bronze, with the famous line about welcoming ‘your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.'”
The event concluded with fireworks, but details are sketchy as to what song was played during them. We can, therefore, responsibly conclude that it was “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher.”
The U.S. Postal Service unveiled a new First-Class postage stamp featuring that all-American staple: the Statue of Liberty. Unfortunately, they accidentally used a picture of the shorter, sluttier Vegas statue.
The USPS is going ahead with it, though, and now we’re stuck with the first stamp in U.S. history that can give you herpes when you lick it.
Watch out, consumers! No matter how tempting it is, no matter what promises they may make, no matter how wonderful it sounds, DO NOT buy the magic cheese.
A French man is being accused of selling kits to make “magic cheese.” French officials have been dispatched to Chile to investigate the customers claims and to determine if it is indeed a pyramid scheme. Authorities claim Gilberte Van Erpe sold magic cheese to customers in Chile as an ingredient for French beauty products.
Also, if you eat it, it gives you the ability to fly, walk through the Great Wall of China, and make the Statue of Liberty disappear.