Tag: steal

Mini-How To: Dump your boyfriend

So CNN is hemming and hawing about how not dump a guy. See, the author, Judy McGuire, is worried that you’ll hurt your boyfriend’s feelings by dumping him the wrong way.

Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? There’s only one foolproof way to dump a guy without hurting his feelings: set him up with one of your hotter friends.

Which friend, you ask? The one with the biggest boobies. Or the one that decided to go to school instead of become a model. If all else fails, go with the one with the most exotically colored pubic hair.

He won’t care about anything else you have to say. Best of all, when that relationship is over, he won’t stalk you.

Once again, CNN–we’ve warned you about this before. We write the Thursday How To segments and you stick to panda stories. Deal? Deal.

Hey, we write the ‘How Tos!’

Once again, another “recognized” media outlet is cramping our style. This time, it’s long-time reader/often linking to us CNN.

Look at their site today, and what do you find? “How to keep your kids pain-free.”

This work of outright theft is a numbered list of steps in bold font, followed by a paragraph or three of regular-font details.

Here’s an example from their “own” Web site:

5. Don’t be afraid of opiates

Opiates can help a child in severe pain, and the risks are small, pediatric pain experts say.

The sad part is, not only did they steal one of our features — which also runs on Thursdays — but they did it wrong.

You don’t make your kids pain-free with pinwheels and drugs; you burn all their nerves off at an early age before memories last. Think of it as a follow-up procedure to a circumcision or ear-piercing.