They may have stayed together for Liv Tyler, but it looks like Steven Tyler and the rest of Aerosmith just can’t keep up appearances anymore. (Although, Tyler’s injury from a fall led to the canceling of said appearances.)
Of course, there’s always one party of denial in any breakup, especially when they’ve been together for 39 years–just shy of the ruby anniversary. Joe Perry said he hasn’t heard it direct from Tyler himself. But, he’s still auditioning younger, hotter singers just in case.
In related news, both Sesame Street and the NASA moon landing–who just celebrated their own 40th anniversaries–clucked at the sad state of Aerosmith and mused that nobody has the patience to work at a relationship anymore.
We all know that a super asteroid powered along the space ways by the time traveling voice of Steven Tyler killed most of the dinosaurs. But what about Tyrannosaurus rex?
Turns out he probably should’ve flossed a bit more. You know, with the those hilariously tiny arms that they had.
Tee-hee! Hilariously tiny arms! Every time a tyrannosaurus has an itch, it’s like a scene out of a sitcom!
I’m back! I know you missed me. But then again, as was proven last week, just because I go on vacation to forget about you does not mean that YMI ceases to exist. It’s sort of like the news in that sense, isn’t it? In any case, I have returned and I am refreshed. Can you say the same? If you were busy making a cargo ship disappear, odds are you missed it.
Your pointless babble brings on the whale
A recent study of tweets on Twitter, the microblogging service, found that around 40 percent are “pointless babble.” This comes as a shock to many, who could have sworn the number was closer to 99.9999999999999999 percent. So what are the remaining 60 percent of tweets? About 35 percent are updates about what song or band a person is listening to right now, 20 percent are complaints about work, class, the weather and illness, while the remaining 5 percent are updates on bowel movements.
This AND Steven Tyler is in the hospital?
NASA said this week that unless it gets more federal funding it will not be able to meet its 2020 goal of tracking 90 percent of the asteroids that could hit the Earth and kill off life as we know it. But that’s OK, your federal dollars are going to more important things. As the ancient Sumerian saying goes, if you live long enough, everything turns into a Bruce Willis movie.
Just in time for the Woodstock anniversary
Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme was released from prison today after spending 34 years in jail for the attempted assasination of President Gerald Ford. Fromme was a member of the Manson family, which is connected with other crimes, such as a two-day killing spree in 1969. Has anyone told Ford about this yet? Oh, wait.