Movies, if they’re of any quality (I’m calling you out The Asylum), usually take a bit of time to create. I’m not talking two weeks to a month, I’m talking multiple months to a year for just the basic films (if it’s Quentin Tarantino, it could be up to the week before the picture comes out).
So, can you imagine just how long it took cavemen to potentially create the world’s first movies? That’s a lot of dark mud and giant sloth blood.
Marc Azéma has discovered that movies were actually first created by Stone Age artists using torches for the “film effect,” essentially animating the pictures made on cave walls. It hasn’t been revealed yet if the movies (which are actually more like GIF files) consist of anything other than animals. That said, I think it’s safe to assume that no, they’re not porn. Okay McBournie?
Do you drive a car? Did you know that most of cars involved in fatal accidents are driven by humans? It’s true. We suck at driving because it’s so damn boring. We need to change the stereo setting from FM1 to AUX, we need to fix the GPS settings, and most importantly, we need to kill our arms holding up our cell phones for a half an hour talking and driving.
Some people find talking on the phone and driving as dangerous. California is one of those people. There, the first lady, Mariah Shriver was caught talking on her cell phone even though her husband made it illegal.
Ever the actor. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said during a speech that he couldn’t believe his wife was “holding that phone in her hand like in the Stone Age.” It should be noted that the governor of California is something of an amateur archaeologist.
He is totally right. Back in the Stone Age, cave women would drive around in their cars talking on their cell phones. This left them vulnerable to being bashed over the head by cave men and dragged off romantically.
Every few years, I find that it’s time to clean out the old lexicon. Everyday language is a constantly evolving collection of trendy phrases from movies, literature, music and–as The Guys would like to think–blogs.
But as time marches on, those phrases cease to remain useful. Sometimes they’re no longer relevant, other times they’ve been brow-beaten so low that they no longer hold any real meaning. It’s time to flush these five clichés so we can make room for newer, more interesting terms.
Continue reading Take it from Snee: Cleaning out the language gutters