Squid now the newest pilot whales

Anyone that’s studied our eternal enemies, the animals, is familiar with the pilot whale. The cetacean beasts are well-known for stranding their massive bodies on our beaches. Sure, it’s a form of suicide that we don’t fully understand (not that we’re complaining — less of them equals better odds for us in this war), but invariably, it ends with them leaving their diseased and decaying carcasses on our beaches, creating eye-sores and potentially locking up city funds to dispose them.

They’ve now got company in their life-ending ranks, as hundreds of squid washed ashore in Santa Cruz. Even when some of the idiotic masses attempted to place the molluscs back into the water, the creatures made their way back onto the shore.

We don’t really know why they decided to commit suicide. Perhaps they gave up on the war. Perhaps this is nothing more than an insidious plan on the animals part. Who knows? The only solution is to eliminate them all and find out later.