Take it from Snee: A heartfelt apology

Look, as a comedy writer, sometimes I say and do mean things. My particular brand of comedy leans anywhere from provocative to “let’s see if my penis fits in there.” And, you know what? Sometimes I have to step back and say I’ve gone too far, especially when it concerns people’s feelings.

I know you expect Take it from Snee (to try) to be funny. You want to see goofy pictures and read cannibalism jokes. I wish I could deliver that to you, but I just don’t feel funny right now. In fact, I feel like s#&t.

So, there’s only one thing I can do this week, and that’s to man up and apologize. Otherwise, I might never be able to look myself in the mirror, much less make light of my third nipple.

Here goes: I’m sorry I gave your son autism, Jenny McCarthy. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A heartfelt apology

If only there were Baby Tylenol …

Salieri betrayed Shiva.

For years, we’ve wondered why–WHY!?–God took Mozart away from us so early. Imagine if he had lived longer: the works he could have still written, the crossover into other genres, the inevitable greatest hits album and maybe even a concert with the greatest band of all time, The Monkees.

Alas! No, he died–he died!–like all the brilliant ones do, at home with a “miliary fever.” (This must be Austrian for “couldn’t breathe his vomit.”)

But, is this the whole story? According to a Dutch study, he may have contracted the strep throat that was going around in Vienna in the winter of 1791. No big deal, right?

Wrong. In an unlikely twist, as the strep gripped his throat, it caused a complication in–of all places–his liver. QED, b@$%hes. That’s one dead Wolfgang.

So it was murder!