Breastfeeding our ailing national pastime

A Los Angeles area Little League is in dire straits and could really use a miracle right now. And that’s when some angels show up to save the day — some naughty angels, that is.

The Lennox Little League, a poor urban community, was almost unable to pay increasing fees and can no longer sell grilled concessions thanks to regulations imposed by the K-8 Lennox School District. The Jet Strip, a local strip club whose manager serves on the all-volunteer Lennox Coordinating Council, donated $1200 to cover them for the year.

And it makes sense. Without future baseball players, who will support the strippers of tomorrow? Golfers? Please. There aren’t entire teams of golfers.

Take it from Snee: Mars needs strippers!

An interstate brouhaha is underway between Houston, Texas and New York City over the final resting place for the space shuttle Enterprise.

The shuttle, which never flew in space, but was the test model for what became the workhorse of our space program, was awarded to New York’s Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum, while Houston possibly receive the Explorer, a full-scale mock-up shuttle, and the finger from all living shuttle astronauts. (Which is actually kind of hard to organize, you f%@king ingrates.)

Rep. Ted Poe and Pete Olson (R-Texas) and Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson are using the proximity of a strip club to contest the shuttle’s proposed location, which is right across the street from the rest of the museum. They believe that this “is no way to treat a precious space artifact.”

But, what if the shuttle inspired those strippers to work their way through college studying science and aerospace? Then the esteemed busybodies from Texas would be interfering in my plans to restore the U.S. space program. And, brother? Space strippers is just the beginning. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Mars needs strippers!

Does this dead guy know how to party or what?!

Of all the things you can do with a corpse, the “Weekend at Bernie’s” runs a close second to … well, ask your parents. And when Robert Young and Mark Rubinson found their buddy Jeffery Jarrett dead in his home, they (allegedly) knew that Jeff had just delivered them a godsend.

According to police, the two picked Jarrett up off of whatever he died on (please say it was the toilet, please please please) and loaded him into an SUV. They then used Jarrett’s money to pay for drinks and food at two locations, dropped him back off at home — because he’d obviously had enough — and then went back out to a strip club.

At this point, once they had ditched the body, you could argue that they were just taking advantage of their friend’s death to profit. But, explain this: when they got to the strip club, they withdrew $400 from the ATM with his debit card.

You may think you’re tight with your friends, but are you close enough to create a death pact with them, including the PIN to your bank account?

Interesting choice of battle there

The Republican Party’s had a rough couple of weeks. They lost the fight over health care reform. They had some trouble outright condemning death threats and failing to distance themselves from racist lunatics. The Pentagon’s trying to make the military more gay-friendly. The President even co-opted their idea to expand oil exploration off the mid-Atlantic coast.

Through all of that, the faithful have remained …

… that is, until LesboStripperGate 2010!

After it was revealed that the Republican National Committee funded a $2000 field trip to see How Lesbians Work, family values “expert” Tony Perkins, Sarah Palin and others have announced that they are boycotting the RNC and encourage others to do the same.

Really? Strippers are the line? They do realize that there is no–none–sex in the champagne room, right?

All the same, we’d like to officially welcome the GOP to the third party ghetto now.

Have you helped Haiti yet?

We know you feel bad about the earthquake in Haiti, and we hope you have donated in some way to the tragedy. There are so many ways to help the troubled country, the New Orleans Saints did their best by winning the Super Bowl, unfortunately, Pierre Garçon, who is Haitian-American, was on the Colts.

Having you considered giving back by getting a lap dance?

A strip club in Toledo, Ohio offered a promotion they subtly titled “Lap Dances for Haiti.” The only problem is that lap dances are illegal in Ohio, so they just charged a $10 cover charge which raised nearly $1,000 for International Services of Hope.

Key quote: “You don’t hear much about strip clubs giving back to the community.”

The relief effort went far better than the strip club’s attempt to help build schools on Native American reservations, called “Lap Dances with Wolves.”

(Via Consumerist)

Booze and stripclubs = peanut butter meets jelly

Some things in life just go together. For instance, who would want a peanut butter cup without chocolate? Or who would order steak and eggs and just want one of them?

Well, if you’re following my logic then you are also wondering why in the world DuPage County, Illinois would even remotely consider banning booze from their strip clubs. We here at SG support both endeavours involved in this equation. After all, we supply you with the latest booze news, and we also make our money one dollar at a time.

IT’S SUING TIME!

Google Street View, the keen-o application that allows anyone around the world to check out a 360-degree-view of selected city streets, is under attack by a group of angry Japanese lawyers and professors. They’ve asked Google to shape up and ship out (though, mostly ship out) their street-level images, stating it violates privacy rights.

Real life Power Ranger and professor of law at Sophia University, Yasuhiko Tajima states that, “We strongly suspect that what Google has been doing deeply violates a basic right that humans have. It is necessary to warn society that an IT giant is openly violating privacy rights, which are important rights that the citizens have, through this service.”

Thank you Japan for telling me that walking down the street violates basic privacy rights.

Thank you Japan for being so crazy that you’ve got creepy vending machines, but having a random glance of a sunbather is not kosher.

Thank you Japan for deciding that those that walk out of strip clubs have rights too. I mean, they do, but if you’re OK with walking into a strip club, shouldn’t you be just as OK with walking out of one?

Who knows how long Google might exist in the future, or what the outcome of these pictures might be, but this is human history here. They are cataloging the streets of what life was like in 2000; just imagine what it would be like seeing these images 100 years from now, or even a 1000 years from now.

Next stop-the phone book! That horror of evil is next!

Hobos score with Scores

Scores is a landmark institution in the New York strip club universe, but both locations are in danger of being shut down permanently because of all the, you know … crime and stuff. Apparently prostitution is frowned on by the law in Manhattan. Who knew? Well, other than the owners of Scores not.

Sadly, what was once a trademark stop for single, heterosexual men has now reluctantly become a lot for hobos to rest their eyes, if for just a bit, as it looks like their liquor license will not be renewed. That’s as good a sign as any for me to avoid the place. How will city hedge fund managers blow their expense accounts on overpriced champagne now?

No sex in the champagne room, nor anywhere else in the building

We live in what some might call a “hallowed age”. Technology is all around us. It’s in your camera. It’s in your phone. It’s in your portable music player. The Orwellian concept of “Big Brother is watching” isn’t so much untrue, as it’s more flipped around-we’re showing ourselves to everyone. With the dubbing of “WEB 2.0”, we’re everywhere that can see us. We’re showing our world to the world and having a blast doing so. Maybe that’s why apparent ignorance is so amusing.

A Manhattan strip club owner is “shocked”—shocked—to learn that his VIP rooms might have been used for more than just lap dances and claims (from the jail cell where he is being held on prostitution charges) that he runs one of the “cleanest” clubs in town. Oh sure, he trusts his strippers so much that he would never put cameras or anything such as that into his club, right? I mean, we can trust a lawyer that owns a strip club called “The Hot Lap Dance Club”, right?