It was the breast of times, the worst of times

Ladies and gentlemen, it is a sad day in the news for boobs.

LifeWay Christian Resource stores, which are part of the Southern Baptist Convention and dot intersections in Alabama like Dunkin Donuts in Boston, have decided that no breasts are worth a single abortion. They will no longer sell pink bibles because a portion of the profits (God needs to get his beak wet, too) from those sales goes to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, who in turn help fund Planned Parenthood’s screening efforts.

While it’s understandable that Lifeway is against abortion — because breast milk makes tits so much bigger — this could spell the end of PP’s “Grope & Mope (over your dead fetus) Tuesday” specials.

But, then there’s today’s Headline of the Day, courtesy of ABC News: “Ta-Ta! Woman’s Body ‘Swallows’ Breast Implant.”

Have a beautiful and bouncy day!

Rise, my cake

Chancellor Palpatine Emperor Palpatine Pope Benedict XVI recently turned a whopping 83 years old. At his birthday party, he was given a large cake and had “Happy Birthday” sung to him in English. Because, you know, the Catholic Church has never had issues with small children and Benedict has never had any possible ties to the German Nazi party or movement. Never.

We can only assume that each candle (all 83 of them) had a tip that resembled a Pope hat. Because that makes us smile.

In other food related news, a hub-bub has been stirred up regarding the irony of KFC’s recent healthy focus campaign for the Susan G. Komen foundation and their release of the Double Down. And yet, there’s another hub-bub that they might want to focus on also. Oh, and SHAMELESS PLUG IS SHAMELESS