Sweaty robots are the next big thing

In the Terminator movie franchise, after the machines take over the world, the create killer robots that look like humans to infiltrate and destroy the remains of human resistance. Thanks to the Japanese, we’re that much closer to making it a reality.

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have created a robot that can work out, although sadly, it can’t work out for us. But more importantly, the robot can sweat to cool itself down. Kengoro the robot has a head, torso, two arms and two legs, just like a human, and when it does pushups, it gets overheated. But rather than using fans, like pretty much every other machine, it sweats like a human. The robot’s skeleton is porous, and emits water throughout its frame to cool itself down.

This is achievement will soon be followed up by the first robot to get swamp ass.

Science: Your sh&t doesn’t stink — to your friends

What’s that smell? According to a new study, it’s probably coming from someone who’s not “one of you.”

Researchers have found that if you find an unpleasant scent that comes from someone who don’t deem as part of your group — however you define it — it will smell worse to you than if it was someone you know. Basically, if your friend drops a deuce in your bathroom and forgets to flush, it won’t smell as bad as when you find a random turd in the bowl at a public restroom. In fact, it actually smells worse if it’s a group of people you see yourself as in competition with.

A study of female students at a university in the U.K. generally found the sweat of a male student to be worse if they knew he went to a rival school. But they were more OK with the scent of sweat of their supposed own classmates. However, the study was pretty vague on who would be considered an outsider. So let’s just say it’s anyone you don’t see as being in your social clique at least, and at worst, possibly anyone who’s not the same gender, race, religion, sexuality, age, economic level or geographic origin as you.

So not only do we need to be self-conscious about the way we dance in public places, we have to worry that we’re stinking up the joint, too.

Lady sailors make perfect seamen

It’s hard to believe, but the U.S. Navy’s been using submarines for over 100 years, and they just now thought to put women in them.

It took this long because some people have always thought that it’s not a good idea, especially because of “hot bunking,” where sailors sleep in the same bed in shifts to save space and because the subs have to be manned 24 hours, anyway.

But, this is a prime example of why submarines need women: the “hot” bunks will smell better. It’s either station women on subs or stock the showers with Herbal Essences.

And not just the bunks, either, because we’re also talking about recycled air here. Everyone knows women don’t fart, and their poops are modest and have no more odor than freshly baked crescent rolls. They sweat less and, if folded correctly, take up less space than an Ab-Lounger, which is important in a sub’s cramped insides.

(Speaking of conditions women handle better than men: cramped insides.)

Basically, women make the perfect seamen, especially underwater.