Syria: the Fonzie of the Middle East

The Syrian government detained 32 protesters, charging that they were seriously damaging Syria’s “rep.” The detainees were demonstrating against Syria’s detention of other political prisoners, which also demonstrates that they did not fully understand the original problem.

Damascas officials have not indicated when they will release these protesters, but they have hinted that they may place their mothers under house arrest for making them look uncool in front of the guys.

As played by Steven Seagal

No one expects the cook to be a martial arts bearing hero of the day. That expression is clearly shared by many of the Somalian pirates. It’s possibly a good thing that people are like that.

The cook for a band of Somali pirates managed to sneak food, cell phone cards and guns to a group of hostages taken by said pirates. His actions literally saved the hostages and the day. Which is why he’s apparently vanished off the face of the earth. Of course, that matter is complicated just a bit by European Union nations, Syria and Djibouti (best name for a country STILL) refuse to take him in.

It’s always promising to see bureaucracy keeping the old tradition of “no good deed goes unpunished” alive and well.

The ‘Can you hear me now’ guy is an infidel

Being a refugee is tough, regardless of where you are. Resources are scarce, there’s little or no plan to go along with, and people keep trying to rape your daughters. Luckily, the United Nations is here for you.

If you happen to have fled your Iraqi homeland for Syria to escape the slaughter and civil unrest going on in what was once your neighborhood,  you are now taken care of. All you need is your cell phone so you can receive a text message from the U.N. for a good voucher.

What’s that? You forgot your cell phone when the Shiites ran you out of town, and you would not have paid your bill this month anyway because you have no source of income at the moment, and even if you had, you’re in a different country partially covered in desert so you have no service? Well I guess you should have planned ahead!