Tag: tasers

Rock beats scissors, dual lightsabers beats taser

A man from Hillsboro, Oregon has been arrested and charged with assault after allegedly attacking customers at a Toys ‘R Us store with … drum roll please … wait for it … two plastic lightsabers.

The man, armed with two lightsabers and his abnormally high mitochondrial count, started swinging the toy weapons at customers in the store last week. You can just see the transition from Jedi to Sith.

When the police were called, the 33 year-old moved out to the car park. When cops confronted him there, he began attacking them with the lightsabers, and when one officer shot a taser at him he “knocked one of the wires away”. Such skill and finesse.

It was all for naught, though. Police eventually got the better of Master Porkins, who now faces “allegations of disorderly conduct, theft, assault, resisting arrest and interfering with a police officer”.

That morning jolt

Ever been to a job fair? (Please, hold your applause. Thank you for that kind welcome back.) It’s a bunch of people walking around dressed in clothes nicer than they feel comfortable in, handing out resumes like candy.

From the potential employer’s standpoint, it is also a battle to get people’s attention. If they don’t come to your table, how can you hire them? You need an eye-catching gimmick. For the Lake County, Colorado Sheriff’s Department, that gimmick was free Tasering for volunteers.

About 30 high school students volunteered to be shocked with a Taser at a job fair because they wanted to feel what it was like. The deputy was suspended for a week.