Tattoo discrimination? In the Japan? I mean, in Japan?

In Japan, tattoos have long been associated with the Yakuza. Partly due to safety reasons, even today public places such as bathhouses and gyms have banned people bearing large tattoos from entering their premises. Now, tattooed city employees are also being subjected to new employment restrictions.

Osaka Major Toru Hashimoto, who has a long history of making controversial decisions, has ordered all public servants to fill out a form on which they must specify where in their bodies they have been tattooed. Employees with any visible marking could potentially be excluded from jobs where they will be in direct contact with the public.

Hashimoto claims that the new policy is part of strategy to safeguard the credibility of government services, but union officials are calling the move discriminatory. Some Japanese are concerned about the form being illegal and in violation of the employees’ human rights. About 38,000 city employees could be affected by the ordinance. We at SG, especially Rick Snee, call it A-OK.

Revolver Door: Repeat-offender firearms

It appears the Pentagon shooting could have been prevented.

According to law enforcement officials, the officers were shot by guns with a previous criminal history. Unfortunately, thanks to Tennessee and other states’ lax gun laws, the handguns were back out on the street, waiting to be bought legally by some guy, who would carry them so they could commit another crime.

The answer is simple, people. Once a gun has committed a violent crime, they have chosen to become enemies of the society we’ve worked to hard to make (by shooting the Native Americans that were in our way).

We’re not saying that all guns are bad–just the ones that go bad. So please, when you are about to bring a new gun into your home, make sure to give it a thorough background check before exposing it to your family.

Take it from Snee: A few more things

As I established last “lightning round,” there are certain thoughts I have that don’t really make an entire Take it from Snee. They’re just ideas I save up from stories I read and, when the week’s particularly slow, I just ejaculate them into one gonzo post.

So, enjoy my brain ejaculations.

I promise to avoid your hair and those pants that are dry clean only. But you’re on your own for your eyes. You don’t like this? Keep ’em shut. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A few more things

Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here

This week, I’m gonna do something a little different. Rather than just spout off about the news, I’m going to give you, the readers, a chance to hang up here in the white space of the column with the big dogs.

On December 18, 2009, I issued a challenge to those of you who were angry at my article, “Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!” The rules were simple:

1) If you can show me one (1) photograph that proves there is a non-tattooed prisoner on Death Row, I will get a tattoo, and I will publish it on this site and on yours.

2) The inmate doesn’t have to currently serve on Death Row, but the photo should be somewhat recent, no earlier than 1980. (In other words, don’t bother submitting clean-cut Depression-era murderers and rapists.)

That proved too hard for you. It’s OK; your tattoos probably got you rejected from all of the good schools (::eye roll::).

So, I simplified the rules:

3) I will accept a letter from a reliable source, like from a prison warden or coroner, in lieu of a photograph.

After that simplification — where one would only need to visit, write, call, or email a prison — you would think that someone, anyone, among you sad souls would follow through on this.

Instead, I received this: Continue reading Take it from Snee: There’s no challenge here

Inspiration by Mark Roberts

In an absolutely diabolical marketing move, a German brothel has come up with an interesting advertising plan: men who get the brothel’s name tattooed on their arm will get free entry into the establishment for the rest of their life (as well as discounts on certain services, like lap dances).

So yes, loyal readers of SG, send us your ideas for comparable services–we’re waiting.

How To: Kill your parents

Let’s face it: for one reason or another, your parents have to die. Maybe it’s because you need that inheritance. Perhaps it’s because they’ve told you clean up your room too many times. Or you might just blame them for life.

We’ve already told you how to use violence to solve all of your familial problems. Since we try not to repeat ourselves, this guide will be a little different. Besides, if both of your parents suddenly end up dead, you’re the prime suspect. Prison or lethal injection is no way to enjoy a parent-free life, so read on to learn how to kill your parents. Continue reading How To: Kill your parents

Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!

Who would think that having large exposed tattoos could still cost gainful employment in the United States? Apparently not people with said large exposed tattoos.

“I think in some ways, it’s a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ understanding,” said 37-year-old Dave Kimelberg when asked how rough he has it as a high-paid, secretly-tattooed attorney.

According to professional tattooed lady, Sara Champion, she had to find a new job because she didn’t want to cover up her needle-scribblings at work. She left, causing her former coworkers to miss out on “six large tattoos on her arms and back,” including:

  • “a brightly colored sunflower.”
  • “a marigold.”
  • “a rendition of a Dia de los Muertos bride and groom on her upper left arm.” (Wha–?)

Fortunately, she found another job where she’s allowed to be as big of an attention whore as she wants to be.* After all, tattoos are a lifestyle, not a choice.

*Unfortunately, it’s in Danbury, Connecticut.

Update (11/26/2008):
Thanks to all of your thoughtful comments, I have changed my mind about tattoos. You really made me think long and hard about myself and people’s preconceptions, so I’ve written more about our (yes, our) plight.

(It’s a long post about Thanksgiving, so feel free to skip all the way to the end.)

Final Update (4/4/2009):
Obviously people are going to continue stumbling across this article through Google search or however else they look to get outraged online. For all intents and purposes, I’m considering the Tattoo Discrimination Challenge a disappointment, but will keep it open for the day someone pours their energy into thoughtful work instead of petty complaints.