The meter is still running

In less Metropolitan areas, one tends to believe there are no cab drivers. In Phoenix, not only are there cab drivers, but those cab drivers want to give you their organs.

A woman who was often driven to dialysis treatments by a cab driver was offered a kidney from her chauffer recently. If someone came up to you and offered an organ, would you really accept it? As it turns out, the cabby’s kidney is a very close match. Thus saving the woman’s life. The kidney is reported to smell like one of those pine tree air fresheners.

See? We don’t always get all “world is ending” on you.

God forbid they party in their huge homes

Sean “Muppet Nickname” Combs is a fine humanitarian who has watched the news and discovered a solution that will make the world a better, safer place.

(By “news,” we mean TMZ, and by “the world,” we mean drunk celebrities.)

Whatever he’s calling himself this week (Doody?), he’s taken reinventing the wheel to a whole new level: “launching a car service to drive drunk celebrities home.”  Thank Christ for Drappy, because it’s about time someone replaced limos, taxis, busses and poor people’s Honda Accords.