Canada way ahead of U.S. in meth cooking education

“I am the one who politely knocks.”

Canada is our neighbor to the north, if you believe what the dishonest media says. And it’s no secret that the Canadian education system beats ours in a lot of different ways. They even teach their kids to learn a trade by giving them instructions for cooking drugs.

In Ontario, a teacher has found herself suspended after she assigned homework that included instructions on how to cook and inject crystal meth. The drama teacher reportedly printed out instructions, which included ingredients, for meth, so that her students could create a skit about it.

There have been no reports as to how good the recipe is.

Police shut down dead-animals-through-the-mail service

When angling for a new job, persistence is usually a good thing. Employers like seeing your enthusiasm for the position. At the very least, they will hire you just so you stop harassing them. But there is a line.

For example, if an employer has passed on you, it’s best not to harass the person who won. An Indiana man who sought a job as fourth grade teacher and basketball coach was distraught that he didn’t get the gig, and just to show there were no hard feelings, he started sending the guy who was hired some dead animals in the mail, according to police. Authorities say he began harassing the man and his wife through the mail, sending four skunks and a raccoon in all.

Surprisingly, the school board has not reconsidered hiring this guy.

Judge rules First Amendment protects dooty-head

A federal magistrate has ruled that Katherine “Katie” Evans, who apparently doesn’t have clever enough friends to give her a cool nickname, can sue her principal for violation of her First Amendment rights.

The stinky-sounding Evans posted a critical Facebook page of her teacher in 2007, dubbing the educator “the worst teacher I’ve ever met.” Evans took the page down a couple of days later. We cannot confirm whether Evans is stupid or lazy, but her reliance on Facebook doesn’t help her case.

Two months later, the principal, Peter Bayer, found out about the page and suspended Evans for 3 days. He also reached our same conclusion and bumped her down from her Advanced Placement classes.

We agree, though: Evans’ speech against her teacher is Constitutionally-protected and her principal was wrong to punish her, even if she is a sniffly, desperate, drama queen with cloven feet, backbreaking halitosis and deficient iron in her blood. (That’s right, we said it: “Katie” Evans is anemic.)

Take it from Dr. Snee: Teach your kids to masturbate

Before we get started with this week’s questions, I just want to remind you that your health insurance provider no longer covers consultations. By reading this, you agree to pay your entire bill within 90 days. No take backs!

Too much bacon is a bad thing.

Dear Dr. Snee,

Why is swine flu back? I thought it was gone.

–Reinflating My Bubble

Three words, RMB: slow news week.

Viruses don’t go away; they just get bumped for more interesting headlines if they don’t kill enough people. Continue reading Take it from Dr. Snee: Teach your kids to masturbate

Today’s lesson: B-double E-double R-U-N

Just when it seemed that education couldn’t get worse … a middle school teacher in Sweden totally redeems it!

The unnamed 37-year-old teacher was charged with buying alcohol for two of her 15-year-old students. This is the kind of action that packs those half-desks, gang.

Interesting note:

“It is illegal for people under 20 years of age to purchase alcohol in Sweden, although it is legal those aged 18 and above to consume alcoholic beverages.”