Governor who excluded can’t tolerate exclusion

When you realize you can only get a part-time teaching gig at Liberty University or Arizona State.

A while back, we issued a warning that, while wealthy people like Donald Trump who don’t need to ever work can afford to be an assh*le, the rest of us cannot. That’s not to say that we should also have that right, just to remember that even a rich douche is still a douche, just one who will never face the consequences of what they say, do or feel. The rest of us don’t live in that world.

And, by “the rest of us,” we also mean former North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory, who’s allegedly having trouble finding consulting work after not only signing anti-trans bathroom law HB2, but still arguing for it after leaving office. And he’s surprised:

The former Republican governor says HB2 ‘has impacted me to this day, even after I left office. People are reluctant to hire me, because, “oh my gosh, he’s a bigot” – which is the last thing I am.’


‘That’s not the way our American system should operate – having people purged due to political thought.’

In other words: the dude who made a big deal out of what bathroom you use can’t understand what the big deal is.

Canada way ahead of U.S. in meth cooking education

“I am the one who politely knocks.”

Canada is our neighbor to the north, if you believe what the dishonest media says. And it’s no secret that the Canadian education system beats ours in a lot of different ways. They even teach their kids to learn a trade by giving them instructions for cooking drugs.

In Ontario, a teacher has found herself suspended after she assigned homework that included instructions on how to cook and inject crystal meth. The drama teacher reportedly printed out instructions, which included ingredients, for meth, so that her students could create a skit about it.

There have been no reports as to how good the recipe is.

Arizona kills Home EKKKonomics classes

In yet another reactionary move against an imagined enemy, Arizona has passed a new bill, this time to ban “schools from teaching classes that are designed for students of a particular ethnic group, promote resentment or advocate ethnic solidarity over treating pupils as individuals.”

So, that should remove the following classes from Arizona schools:

1) Any language class. English? Spanish? French? They all sound like an insidious attempt to change the way we think, starting with the voice in our heads. Plus, we all know that the native speakers typically take these courses because they’re an easy A … well, except English.

2) American History. Oh, so we’re only going to learn about Americans, eh? Let’s look at the section on World War II–just as we thought! Anti-Nazi biases! And just where are the sections about famous Asian-American philosophers?

3) Lunch. The spice levels of cafeteria food are clearly set for a Caucasian digestive tract.

4) Physical Education. We’re OK with keeping PE if they don’t teach basketball. Or baseball. Or soccer. Basically, they just need to teach non-team sports that the white kids can excel at while encouraging their individuality.

Arizona: where passing unenforceable laws is OK, so long as they can convince Mexicans to move along.

The McBournie Minute: Celebrities can’t drive

Recently, Britney Spears had a minor car accident. It does not seem that anyone was hurt, but clearly that is just a case of luck. Our nation’s celebrities, while they may serve as poor role models, they serve as even poorer drivers. What will our children think?

Even when they are not crashing motor vehicles, when they step out of their cars, celebrities are often not fully clothed allowing brief visual access to their naughtier parts. Our nation’s youth will grow up thinking that it is perfectly acceptable to drive around without underpants on, which is something every good driver knows is risky. You can, of course, become stuck to the seat. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Celebrities can’t drive

Justified Lawsuit of the Day

A 15-year-old is suing his his school. Not because he was sexually abused, not because he was racially discriminated against, not because he feels his teachers are not holding up to their end of the unspoken education contract. No, he’s suing because he was woken up.

Vinicios Robacher was sleeping in class when his iron-fisted teacher slammed her hand down on his desk. Robacher is suing, claiming to have suffered ear damage from the loud noise made close to his ear. And well he should. For far too long we have allowed educators to keep our nation’s sleepy youth conscious. They forget these kids are up all night doing important things like text messaging, giggling on the phone or the occasional “sleepover” that involves alcohol.

Our children need their rest!