Ask Dr. Snee: Who wants to live forever?

OK, so nobody asked, but goddammit, you guys, I’m getting pretty damn nervous over here. It appears that you sons of bitches have decided not to die anymore, which puts me in one tight pickle–mostly with my bookie, Eduardo.

Look, you like this semi-regular Dr. Snee feature, right? You’d hate for it to disappear and potentially reappear under a different name in South America, correct? Then you better start living like you’re dying, because I’ve got everything to lose.

Here’s the game plan …. Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Who wants to live forever?

A toast: To guilt!

Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management researchers have learned something interesting about guilt: it makes you drink. For some reason, millions of Americans want to forget why they feel guilty, and nothing helps you forget like booze.

But did you know that undergraduates feel guilty about drinking underage and/or to excess? When shown Canadian (?) anti-drinking drinking public service ads, the teens decided they needed a drink.

American teens drinking to forget guilt-trips from our frozen, drunken neighbors to the north? Yeah, we’ll drink to that, too.

New study reveals teens still lie about sex

So, in spite of rising STD and pregnancy rates, a new study claims that abstinence-only education is “working.”

If you’re anything like the Guys, you’re probably wondering, “How is that working?” Because the study moved the goalposts.

The success of abstinence-only education is now based on how many teens have sex afterwards. You know, because it’s OK if less teens have more babies and genital warts.

It may be like saying that there’s less overall crime, but there’s more rape and murder than ever. But at least we finally got littering under control!