Getting to the tooth behind bad behavior

A new study published in the medical journal, Pediatrics, suggests a possible link between plastic fillings and behavioral problems in children, including anxiety and depression. The plastic fillings contain the chemical bisphenol A, which has previously been linked to hyperactivity in children who received pre-natal exposure.

They found that children who had BPA-containing fillings for at least five years “consistently scored two to six points worse on 100-point behavior measures than those who had none of the fillings or who’d only had one for a short time,” indicating possible leaching of BPA into the mouth and digestive system.

The researchers are careful to note that they did not measure BPA levels in the fillings. Also, they’re not sure if it was BPA or other chemicals in the fillings causing problems. And, they did not test the children’s behavior for interspecies mating.

This won’t be abused at all

Besides testing out a version of football that doesn’t allow the use of hands, the 2010 World Cup is also an experiment for a new anti-rape condom.

Rape-aXe is the brainchild of South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers. It is a latex condom worn inside the vagina that is lined with “teeth-like hooks” that latch onto a rapist’s penis. Any attempts to remove the device by hand will cause it to constrict tighter, but will not break the skin.

Rape may never be funny, but the prank potential of anti-rape devices is hilarious. Like, say you find somebody’s Fleshlight or Real Doll.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Teeth’

While at our highly important beer conference this past weekend, conversation struck up between myself and fellow guy Rick Snee. While talking of Japanese culture (seriously? tentacles?) and other absurd oxymorons in society, we eventually made our way to the concept of genitalia. We remarked to each other about the oddness that Japan will have a woman copulate with a [editor’s note: you don’t want to know] on camera, but you better blur those naughty bits … or else.

Wait, huh? What are they, scared of the hoo-hoo?

That’s when we realized what they’re clearly scared of: the age old concept of vagina dentata. I mean, when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Fear the va-jay-jay. If we blur and mosaic it, then we can pretend that it’s not there, and thus, can’t be bitten by the fangs of a geisha’s stink crevice.

Or maybe their culture has been aware of the movie Teeth a lot longer than anyone else has. Why don’t you hit the jump and discover the film for yourself? Warning: I will (or at least try to) say the word vagina a fair amount in this article. Because, y’know, I actually have a fairly good reason to do so. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Teeth’

Dentists have officially begun defecating themselves

Hate going to the dentist? Can’t stand the sound of the drill or the smell of powdered tooth? Afraid of anaesthetic injections or getting gassed? Worry no more. Those same cagey individuals that brought you The Glubber may make contemporary dental operations obsolete.

Researchers at Tokyo University have taken stem cells and used them to give a mouse some new teeth. The cells were taken from a mouse embryo and cultivated, growing a new tooth “seed,” a lump of tissue with the genetic ingredients needed to grow into a tooth that was then implanted to in place of a lost molar.

Over about a month and a half, the tooth sprouted and grew to match the dimensions of its neighbors, with the same hardness and qualities of any normal tooth, including nervous and vascular connections that most replacement teeth can’t duplicate. Someday in the future, a dentist might be able to fill a cavity by just slapping on some painless organic gel and sending you home. Like the aforementioned fish, the tooth also glows in the dark, for display purposes.

In the research team’s experiments, the fluorescent glowing dye was a side point, but it isn’t hard to imagine bio-luminescent add-ons catching on in the future. Imagine showing off your new glowing teeth to your friends, or even growing a full head of fluorescent pink hair. It could mean a whole bio-punk movement: body modification taken to the next glowing level. We’ll never sleep again.