Tag: telescope

But wait, there’s more!

Science fiction fans everywhere yelled a collective “SQUEE!!!!” when it was recently announced that there’s more than just what we previously thought about space. I, for one, would like to welcome our rocket cycle-racing masters from Rigel.

Thanks to a modified Chilean telescope, 32 exoplanets have been discovered outside of our solar system. These planets have yet to be named, but we at SG suspect that they’ll probably be named along the lines of Gangster Planet, Dinosaur Planet, Nazi Planet, Ancient Rome Planet and Old West Planet.

Now, for all the misanthropes who would like to be the first on the next series of colony missions, keep in mind that we can’t successfully build a working bio dome on a planet with a stable atmosphere and have yet to colonize our closest planetary neighbor.

Of course, the definitive question is not how many of them that we have discovered, but how many of them have already discovered us (and the insides of our rectums via their ka-razy alien probes)?

Space ready to give the high five

What’s old is new and what’s new is old. That’s the approach taken by many a human in regards to fads. Everyone enjoys “blowing it up”, and who couldn’t love to make fun of those that pop their collars? But no one, and we mean no one, could have possibly imagined the high five coming back-and being used by an entire cosmos.

Say what? That’s right. NASA took photos of an x-ray nebula, located a relatively close 150 light years away. Scientists are theorizing that it’s simply a star spewing energy left and right, and it just happens to have created a hand thanks to the energy, while the fingers are nothing more than gas clouds with stuff in them. Oh sure. What a coincidence.

No one really knows whether it’s a clever ploy by aliens, the hand of God, or the almighty back of the hand of Baby Powder. Nonetheless, we do know this-it’s very, very blue. Also, hey, star, while you’re at it, do you think you could make some googly eyes too?

And in other space related news, it seems as if liberal and commie aliens might not get a chance to learn just what is The Word. NASA is apparently being pretty mum about just whether or not the newest wing of the International Space Station truly will be named “Colbert”, despite it winning a contest. Of course, this could all be just a sinister plot by bears. The jury’s still out.

UPDATE:  Colbert will not get his name on the node, but he does get a snazzy treadmill named after him.