Eat My Sports: Let’s not go out like Mace Windu

In an interview to hype Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, Samuel L. Jackson said in regards to his character, Mace Windu, that “he doesn’t go out like a b****” (please trust me on this, as my Google-fu is quite weak at the moment and I cannot find said interview; however, this one line was burned into my brain). Obviously, Sammy L was a little off in his revelation, because most assuredly, Mace Windu went out not just a window, but like a b****.

So, how does this relate to sports? Oh, come on. Teams lose games in the worst ways possible. Players leave in the most egregious ways possible. The worst thing is that more often than not, said people have the most potential ever! They’re rife with talent, but it gets squandered in a single moment, usually in an inexplicable manner. It’s time to celebrate the Mace Windu Awards.

Warning: the language is gonna get strong.

Continue reading Eat My Sports: Let’s not go out like Mace Windu

Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition

Bust out your Michael Vick jersey, a case of Miller Lite and prepare to gain 20 pounds, IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON! How will it all pan out? So glad you asked. My sports knowledge and ability to guestimate gives you predictions for every division, team and eventual playoff outcomes. Let’s ride.

NFC East

The NFC East was supposed to be the new “it” divisions last year, shortly before it lived up to expectations in 2008 the way Angelina Jolie tanked in Changeling. Now in 2009 the East is down to one good team, two teams that got rid of egomaniacal receivers, and the Redskins. Don’t be surprised when this team yields only one playoff bid this year.

The Call: Philadelphia Eagles 12-4

The Rest: New York Giants 9-7, Dallas Cowboys 8-8, Washington Redskins 5-11

NFC South

Another pretender division that choked like a British nanny as the weather got colder. Yes, I predicted the Saints to go to the Super Bowl last year, but injuries and NO DEFENSE prevented that. This year you have an aging Carolina squad, New Orleans’ offense, a terrible Tampa team and an Atlanta franchise that will probably get a second year hangover from Matt Ryan, I mean he is still only a year out of college, hangovers happen my friend. The bottom line is you could make an argument for any of these teams, simply because the division is so bad. So pick the least heinous person to make out with at this party, because this one isn’t pretty.

The call: Atlanta Falcons 10-6,

The rest: New Orleans Saints 8-8, Carolina Panthers 7-9, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10 Continue reading Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition