Tag: testicular cancer

Congratulations! It’s a tumor!

In Movember-related news, it turns out that men can use home pregnancy tests to find out if they have certain varieties of testicular cancer.

One Ontario man did so for a lark, which is Canadian for “to waste a perfectly good pregnancy test.” When a friend posted the results to Reddit, users suggested he get checked for testicular cancer immediately or, at the very least, get that baby flushed out before it wrecked his pee hole. Sure enough, he had a small tumor on his right testicle, and it was detected early enough to treat immediately.

Please note that the hormone that triggers positive pregnancy test results is not present in all forms of testicular cancer, so don’t forget to get your annual check-up! Sometimes, urinating on a stick is no substitute for a doctor’s loving hands. At least, that’s what it says on our Tijuana medical licenses.

Not addicting, but got you by the balls

Medical researchers are experimenting with a new hypothesis that is sure to make Snoop Dogg sweat: does smoking marijuana increase the risk of testicular cancer?

So far, the answer is a very scientific “Idunno,” but they’re working on it.

But that’s not to say that every scientist is gung-ho about it. Some are calling the connection “a tenuous one,” especially considering the type of nut cancer they’re investigating has not increased over the past 35 years. We don’t have audio of this quote, so we can’t verify whether the source– Steve Shoptaw, “a professor in the department of family medicine and psychiatry at UCLA” — sounded anything like your freshman year roommate. (Think Tommy Chong.)

Should this hypothesis become fruitful, this is great news for Michael Phelps: testicular cancer improved the career of Lance Armstrong.