‘I’ll just nip out the back and shoot myself’

On first reading this headline, “We have created human-animal embryos already, say British team,” our first instincts were to urge a tactical first-strike on Britannia.  After all, a war on animals includes preempting any Isle of Dr. Moreau attrocities.

But we continued reading the article.  (It’s only one day after April Fools, and the British press have made up news for centuries.)

These scientists may have opened the doors to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by combining human and cow DNA.  Think about it: vegetarians will be forced to leave us steak- and, to a lesser extent, hamburger-eaters alone if we only eat suicidal cows.

Our prescription for our new bovine sapiens?  Lots and lots of The Cure.