Free Kang Wannian!

It’s a Christmas miracle-unless you’re the Chinese dude who was sentenced to twelve years in jail. It’s every warrior’s dream, but it there are very, very few who have actually had the chance to do so.

Kang Wannian, a Chinese man, killed and ate what just may be the very last Indochinese tiger. Apparently the incident happened in March, when the man came upon the tiger. Wannian said he killed the tiger in self defense (let’s face it, the killing of any animals is in self-defense), but apparently that did not fly with those liberal elites in the Chinese government.

It’s been a tough year for Asian tigers, as the Tamil Tigers were exterminated in May. Yes, we do geo-political gags, too.

Indiana Jones and the War on Animals

What a surprise! Hollywood stars are coming together in Washington, D.C. to protest a war. Once again, the liberal elite are trying to make us lose a war, but this time Harrison Ford, Bo Derek and Robert Duvall made an appearance to save the tigers, as if they need saving.

No one really cares about what Bo Derek thinks, and Robert Duvall played Robert E. Lee, so we shouldn’t be shocked when he rises against his government, but Indy?! Why, Indy? WHYYYYY?!

This is believed to be the biggest celebrity coup in the War on Animals since the military tribunal and subsequent execution of Captain Kangaroo.

Aid and comfort to the enemy

What is it with German zoos lately? It seems every single cute baby animal story is coming to us from Germany these days, which surprises this blog. If one could pick one culture that seems to be more into torture than cuteness (aside from the U.S.) one would think German culture.

Last week, a tiger cub bit off more than it could chew and started choking on it. A zoo attendant panicked after dislodging the meat but the cub still wasn’t moving. That’s when a medical student gave the tiger cub mouth-to-mouth and ended up saving its life. TRAITOR! You had this one gift wrapped for you. You didn’t even have to kill the cub, just stand there. But no, instead you save the cub’s life so it can grow up and eat you one day.