Smoke gets in Va. smokers’ eyes

Smokers in Virginia are certainly not crying today as their rule over restaurants and bars comes to a measured end.

Governor Tim Kaine will sign a bill today that will restrict all statewide smoking to little petting zoos with separate ventilation and, presumably, wait staff. This is the toughest anti-smoking law to date … in any of the five tobacco-producing states.

The Guys give this new law exactly three days before indignant Virginia smokers (including those who smoke Slims) invoke Brown v. Board of Education to contest their new “separate but equal” status.

You Missed It: Skinny dip edition

As the summer winds down, people are getting out of dodge earlier and earlier (take me last week, for example). If you were busy this week counting the number of houses you own, odds are you missed it.

Fay not going away
Cuba and some other Caribbean islands got hit by Tropical Storm Fay this week and it was no big deal. It’s just a puny tropical storm, right? Wrong. Fay has been manhandling Florida (including the panhandle) for several days now, dropping amounts of rain better measured in feet than inches and causing tons of flooding. The good news in all this: the state is now back to its original form, as a huge swamp.

Jamaican Bolt-led team
Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has run three races, won three gold medals and broken three world records–a feat which has never been done before. Analysts credit the runner’s long legs and speedy last name as natural reasons why he is so much faster than everyone else. Bolt’s next event is Showboating, which will air tonight.

Not Phelps’ Beard
In other Olympic news, U.S. swimmer Amanda Beard caused a stir this week when she said she would never date fellow Olympian Michael Phelps. Beard said (aside from the fact that he is really goofy looking), “Ewww, that is so nasty! … Come on, I have really good taste.” When one thinks good taste, one thinks of Beard. That’s why she posed nude for Playboy and unveiled a nude anti-fur ad at the Olympics.

Doesn’t “Obama-Kaine” sound like a prescription drug?
The nation is in a frenzy over who presumptive Democratic candidate Barack Obama will choose as his runningmate. Some say Jo Biden, some say Hillary Clinton, others say Tim Kaine. Obama is expected to announce his decision today, and he had better, otherwise television news channels will have to go cover the war or something. In one of his many houses John McCain is wondering why no one cares about his VP pick.