Tag: time

Buy a potzer a pizza, or listen to this crap all weekend

If you’ve ever wondered where the dubious claims of your local pothead come from, here you go: “Marijuana Slims? Why Pot Smokers Are Less Obese.”

In Time‘s and author Maia Szalavitz’s defense, they’re not saying that pot makes you skinny. In fact, Szalavitz goes to great lengths to explain why (a) that is definitely not the case and (b) the fact the respondents are slimmer than their non-toking fellow surveyees makes almost no sense.

Still, expect to hear these claims all the same. And probably from a stoner chick with a pot belly (all of them).

USA! USA! USA!

Here at SG, we typically write the jokes. It’s our job, and we’re positive that the rest of the Internet sucks at it. (Screw you, ComedyCentral.com.)

Today, we’re letting this article speak for itself:

“All I knew was that circumcision is something the U.S. does and Europe doesn’t and is therefore awesome. Our penises are clean and sleek and new like Frank Gehry skyscrapers, while theirs are crumbling, ancient edifices inhabited by fat old men in hats.”