We’ve been fighting this War on Animals for so long that we can’t even remember if we’ve warned you about snake suicide bombers. We’ll err on the side of caution and say we told you so, anyway.
The Florida Everglades are so overgrown that pythons have turned it into their own veritable pit. Partly because of irresponsible species traitors who drop them off shortly after bringing them to the U.S. — and partly due to an exotic snake warehouse destroyed by Hurricane Andrew in 1992 — the enemy has dug into the wild, untamed region where even our armed forces can barely reach them.
And now, they’re planning to bomb us. Otherwise, why would officials fighting the good fight enlist bomb-sniffing dogs to find them?