Finally, the bad parenting tables even out

For years, fathers have been warned that if they neglect their daughters as children, then they might as well put them on the pole themselves. But, a new study posits that mothers who don’t form a strong enough bond with their toddlers will turn them into fat teenagers.

But, let’s not get too cocky, dads. This fight isn’t settled until the individual gender studies come out. If the sons of crappy moms also end up marrying older, matronly women, then you can put your “booya” pants on.

Man’s best traitor

Whatever you do, don’t read this out loud. There are animals all around you. Even if you don’t have a pet, there is probably a fly or a dust mite within earshot. Why should you care? It looks like animals are getting smarter.

According to a new report, dogs can understand your gestures as well as a toddler can. This explains why they both drool a lot and are content eating food you would never touch. The bad news is that they can read our body language, the good news is that you can still swear around them without them even knowing what the hell you’re talking about.

Remember: the enemy is watching.