Tag: Tom Hanks

Take it from Snee: In which our hero watches ‘chick flicks’

So, last week I mentioned that married men are forced to watch chick flicks. Of course, the more whipped boyfriends out there have probably done the same, which is why they’ll always be groomsmen: gentlemen, you don’t give the back rubs away for free. (Whores.)

Now, I could just whine about these films, but that’s not the kind of content you expect in this column. Instead, I will share my insights with you you for surviving these films, achieving relationship leverage and using said leverage to do all those things you’ve only seen in cave paintings.

Think of me as a former Forest Recon who escaped from a POW camp and survived for six years in the jungle by eating his former NVA captors. Now I’m going to teach you ballet. Chainsaw ballet. Continue reading Take it from Snee: In which our hero watches ‘chick flicks’

Hate your boyfriend? Try Wayne Brady


As a rule, The Guys don’t typically help out newly divorced celebrities. They already have everything going for them: money, bottled water, teeth whiteners that probably taste like Crest Jr. (ours taste like Clorox) …. There’s no reason for us to get involved because they should have no problem “reentering the game.”

But we can’t help but like Wayne Brady–really, who doesn’t? He’s like a white Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle. You want him to fall in love again. And you want him to do better than Meg Ryan.

So if you’re single (or wish you were), have you considered Wayne Brady? Here’s what Wayne brings to the table:

  • Will serenade you in any musical-style, never failing to rhyme.
  • Guarantees at least one erotic manpile featuring Ryan Stiles and Greg Proops.
  • Your parents already like him. (See also: Cuba Gooding, Jr.)
  • Has “born-on” date stamped on the bottom of his right foot, so you know he’s fresh.
  • Doesn’t have to choke you … yet.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Catch Me If You Can’

Steven Spielberg is such a household name as a director that it might surprise you to learn how many fingers he has in how many pies. In the last ten years (and this list is by no means exhaustive) he has executive produced Deep Impact, The Mask of Zorro, The Haunting, What Lies Beneath, Shrek, Memoirs of a Geisha, Monster House, Jurassic Park III, Men in Black II and Transformers, as well as the TV series Band of Brothers and Taken. On top of this he’s written all of games in the “Medal of Honor” series. Oh, there’s also the small matter of directing Amistad, Saving Private Ryan, A.I., Minority Report, Munich, The Terminal and War of the Worlds. All of which were bankers at the box office, many laden with awards. Now comes another change in direction, the delightful Catch Me If You Can, which is right up there with his greatest films and one which should become a perennial favorite in years to come.

Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Catch Me If You Can’