Take it from Snee: Justice has a new s##tface

So, it turns out that there are costumed heroes roving the streets of Cincinnati. (Seriously, watch the video.)

Yeah, I was surprised, too. I thought Cincinnati burned down shortly after WKRP was canceled. But, no: Shadowhare, your friendly neighborhood guy-who’s-obsessed-with-Donnie-Darko-and-Watchmen, patrols the streets with his band of presumably twenty-something-year-old friends, talking to homeless people, annoying (yet, entertaining) cops and even communicating with other likeminded individuals online.

The first thing that came to mind was, “Where did I go after The Guys’ last get-together: The Absinthe-Minded Professors.” (We watched both versions while drinking absinthe and, after running out, then concocted our own “flubber.”)

No, I’m not Nightbunny. But The Guys fit the profile so much that perhaps we should fight crime, fueled by liquid courage. But, what would we look like? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Justice has a new s##tface

WARNING: Scratching “yourself” with 10x your normal strength may lead to hazardous results.

Everyone just loves being a superhero. We mean, sure, being bad could be pretty cool, but ultimately, everyone wants to be the hero. Well, true believer, now you, too, can be Iron Man and only for the low, low price of $4200.

Cyberdyne, a Japanese technology firm that totally has nothing to do at all with the Cyberdyne of the Terminator/killer robot apocalypse film franchise, has begun building a powered exoskeleton suit for purchase. Named the HAL exoskeleton, it uses sensors to increase your strength to double the power. Possibly even tenfold.

Okay, so actually we just wanted to say the word tenfold.

Unfortunately, there are just a few things wrong with the situation:

  1. Even though the suits are only $4200 each, the annual production is limited to simply 400 units. By the time you finish this sentence, they’re probably all sold out.
  2. Cyberdyne? HAL? Anything combining these two words effectively means the end of mankind. We’re boned.
  3. Try to scratch your butt while wearing that thing. Don’t be surprised to hear the suit respond to you with, “I can’t do that, Dave.”