A new study published in the medical journal, Pediatrics, suggests a possible link between plastic fillings and behavioral problems in children, including anxiety and depression. The plastic fillings contain the chemical bisphenol A, which has previously been linked to hyperactivity in children who received pre-natal exposure.
They found that children who had BPA-containing fillings for at least five years “consistently scored two to six points worse on 100-point behavior measures than those who had none of the fillings or who’d only had one for a short time,” indicating possible leaching of BPA into the mouth and digestive system.
The researchers are careful to note that they did not measure BPA levels in the fillings. Also, they’re not sure if it was BPA or other chemicals in the fillings causing problems. And, they did not test the children’s behavior for interspecies mating.
Bah! A tooth? That’s not a cure, that’s simply molly-coddling devices that allow ye to be slobbering with comely wenches! Blindness never impeded any good pirate: they still fight on. Give me two minutes and I could tell you of the blind pirate Soggy Cheesebeard Slappy and how he fought off the 15th Royal British Navy with but a peg leg, a parrot and a bottle of rum.
What’s that? I don’t have one? YARRRGH! Ye be true pillager of me chronal treasures!
Fine then! To be making a long tale a bit smaller, a wench somehow was able to have her looking ability given back to her not by the haunts of the sea, but by a tooth placed in her eye socket. ‘Tis a far too expensive and time-wasting procedure if ye be askin’ me. Simply give her some oranges and limes to fight off the scurvy and she’d be right as rain. YAR!
Hate going to the dentist? Can’t stand the sound of the drill or the smell of powdered tooth? Afraid of anaesthetic injections or getting gassed? Worry no more. Those same cagey individuals that brought you The Glubber may make contemporary dental operations obsolete.
Researchers at Tokyo University have taken stem cells and used them to give a mouse some new teeth. The cells were taken from a mouse embryo and cultivated, growing a new tooth “seed,” a lump of tissue with the genetic ingredients needed to grow into a tooth that was then implanted to in place of a lost molar.
Over about a month and a half, the tooth sprouted and grew to match the dimensions of its neighbors, with the same hardness and qualities of any normal tooth, including nervous and vascular connections that most replacement teeth can’t duplicate. Someday in the future, a dentist might be able to fill a cavity by just slapping on some painless organic gel and sending you home. Like the aforementioned fish, the tooth also glows in the dark, for display purposes.
In the research team’s experiments, the fluorescent glowing dye was a side point, but it isn’t hard to imagine bio-luminescent add-ons catching on in the future. Imagine showing off your new glowing teeth to your friends, or even growing a full head of fluorescent pink hair. It could mean a whole bio-punk movement: body modification taken to the next glowing level. We’ll never sleep again.