Poland invents a box to keep your boners in


As we wait with baited breath to find out who will bring about the American apocalypse over the next four years, let’s distract ourselves with news from Poland.

Lindner, a Polish coffin company, has ruffled some Catholic feathers with their latest ad campaign, a calendar featuring topless models posing with their product line. The Church has condemned the calendar, saying that, “Human death should be treated with solemnity and not mixed up with sex.” This is a departure from Catholicism’s usual position that there is nothing they can’t associate with sex, like employment, medicine and child care.

Zbigniew Lindner, the firm’s owner, has his own idea: “We wanted to show that a coffin isn’t a religious symbol. Its a product. Why are people afraid of coffins and not of business suits, cosmetics or jewelry?”

Amen, Mr. Lindner. Because nothing gets a younger woman hotter than primo taste in coffins. You know, if you’re a rich, 90-year-old oil baron.

YES! YES! YES!

I can’t stress to you just how Not Safe For Work the link for this story is, and as such, if you click on it at work, you will be fired.

I warn you about it now. Do you understand me?

To repeat, as there will almost no people able to read this story initially, as if they click on the link, they will be fired. The link comes from a news source, but there is glorious rampant nudity in the main image. As such, allow me to sum up the story for you: Ukrainian feminists are fighting sex tourism through nudity.

Yes, you just read that. That is sound logic that SG agrees with.

Again, the link is highly Not Safe For Work. Click at your own risk. You have been warned.

‘Very fun fit classy’ congressman resigns

We’re only a month into our latest class of the U.S. Congress, and we’ve got ourselves a sex scandal!

Rep. Chris Lee, R-N.Y., resigned after a camera phone photo of his naked torso was leaked onto gossipy-bitch Web site Gawker yesterday. The married father of one had emailed it to a woman on Craigslist, looking for a date.

While we think it’s ridiculous that any elected official needs to resign for doing something stupid, yet not illegal, we do believe that it’s time to set an age limit on camera phones. Wouldn’t you agree, Mrs. Favre?

We don’t like tan lines either

We here at SeriouslyGuys consider ourselves feminists of the truest sense. We believe in equal rights. That is why we are extremely upset that we missed National Go Topless Day on Aug. 23.

As you an probably guess, Go Topless Day is all about allowing women equal rights. We dig women’s lib and we always have. Particularly, we dig a woman’s right to bare, well, nipples. The struggle continues, ladies!

GoTopless.org (very NSFW)

Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin?

Sarah?

Palin?

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Sarah Palin?!

Sarah Palin! SARAH! PALIN! SARAH PALIN!

If one scantily clad Sarah Palin lookalike isn’t enough for you, here’s your chance to meet many, many more: Las Vegas’s Club Paradise is holding an “official” Sarah Palin look alike pageant next week. And by “official” we mean not official or endorsed by Sarah Palin in any way.