We’re not sure why researchers focus so much on spanking toddlers, but we can excuse their fetish if they provide results (and show their math).
The latest round of surveys and behavioral observations indicate, once again, that spanking 3-year-olds will forge them into a kid-hating wrecking machines by the time they’re 5. And it’s about time science proved that there are benefits to the practice. Tough kids are known for:
- Always having exact change. Wimpy kids never have any change.
- Beating up kids you don’t like. We’re not allowed to challenge kids to fights until they turn 12, so this is our only legal loophole. (You’re dead meat, Kevin Milligan!)
- Hot dogs. Armour hot dogs.
Of course, if you’re still squeamish about hitting your kids, there’s always Spank Kata.