Tag: tourists

Addicted kangaroos will kill you over a carrot

Still think it’s harmless?

Kangaroos, better known as the only animals in Australia that aren’t trying to kill you, are now trying to kill you. The reason? You guessed it: carrots.

Punk tourists are getting roughed up by kangaroos who want to score some carrots. According to reports, the ‘roos in one spot outside of Sydney expect tourist groups to have food on them, especially carrots, and get violent if they don’t.

Of course, authorities blame the human victims, rather than the junkie kangaroos, for the attacks. They claim that people entice the beasts over to them for a selfie by offering carrots and other food. This makes them expect food when they see you, and when you don’t meet their expectation, you get kicked and scratched.

If this is what a gateway vegetable can do to an animal, just imagine what would happen if you got hooked chasing the orange dragon.

‘Would you like to pet my elephant?’

Everyone, not just Republicans, hates poor people. They’re smelly because they seldom shower. They jangle cups without so much as actually asking you if you want some change, and the seldom come up with signs that do not end in “God Bless You.”

Just imagine how it could be if homeless people were elephants. In Thailand, that’s how they roll.

Elephant begging in Thailand is a huge problem. Apparently these things are roaming around the streets of cities, finding tourists and stopping. They then make their human companion species traitors ask for money for the honor of feeding the elephant. Not only are these poor tourists forced to feed the enemy, they have to pay tribute!

Well, no more will that be the case in the country. The government has decided to crack down on it. Southeast Asia: once again, leading the way in the War on Animals.