Tag: toyota

Take it from Snee: Your car and you

Waaaaaay back in October 2008, when the pressing concern was how to vote, I wrote about the hidden messages behind bumper stickers. While you may think your memorial bumper sticker tells everyone that you are a passionate person in pain, to everyone else it signals that you might have a death wish to join your lost loved one and to steer clear.

At the time, I thought that was the only way to judge our fellow drivers … until I saw a P.T. Cruiser.

It was at that point that I realized that, while not every car has bumper stickers, every driver chooses a car to express themselves/pick up chicks. (Or, in the case of the minivan, to prevent your spouse from ever picking up chicks again.)

And yeah, I just called your van a car. So’s your truck and SUV. If you’re driving it to work and back, never using it to off-road, it’s a goddamn car. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Your car and you

Honda of Jupiter had no comment on the matter

Toyota vehicles have been having a problem with sudden, uncontrollable acceleration lately. It’s been variously attributed to faulty circuits and driver error, but the real culprit might be radiation from beyond the skies. Woooo, oooooOOOOoooo, woooo.

Every day, the Earth is bombarded with trace amounts of radiation from space, though it poses no direct harm to you and me, but the radiation has been known to cause glitches in circuitry, including the kind found in airplane navigation systems. And now, Toyota is looking into the possibility that the same radiation might be causing their cars to speed out of control.

An anonymous tipster contacted the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration to let them know that Toyota might be using software that’s unusually susceptible to ambient radiation. A body of published scientific work lends some credence to this theory, so federal regulators are now talking about devising a test to check Toyota’s radiation immunity.

Toyota maintains that radiation has nothing to do with the sudden-acceleration phenomenon. Thus far, the official and most widely accepted story is that something’s wrong with the car’s hardware or software—wiring, circuitry, something like that. Still, we at SG kind of like the cosmic radiation angle, if only to see four Corollas randomly gain superpowers.

You Missed It: Understated celebration edition

Sad to say, but it’s the end of February, everyone’s favorite month. Not only is it cold and snowy, but it’s a month of great holidays everyone either loves or questions its existence, like Groundhog Day (Feb. 2), Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14), President’s Day (Feb. 15), and Waitangi Day (Feb. 6). It’s also the end of Black History Month, so say goodbye to ‘Glory’ on your cable’s OnDemand service. Now we get to say hello to March, which like a schizophrenic sex partner, comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb, or vis versa. If you were busy having a sit-down with opponents to your health care reform plan, odds are you missed it.

At least they have one medal to cheer about
The Canadian women’s hockey team won gold medals in Thursday night’s game. They celebrated in the traditional Olympic manner during the medal ceremony. Then, a half hour later, they came back out onto the ice, this time wielding champagne, beer and cigars. The on-ice celebration is allegedly a common form of Canadian celebration. One of the players trying to drive the Zamboni? Not so much. In case you’re wondering, champions drink Coors Light and Molson Canadian (natch).

The $500 bathroom trip
Over 400 people became sick on a cruise ship in the Caribbean this week. Rather than a memorable cruise to some tropical location, the norovirus went on vacation with 435 of the 1,838 passengers, who basically saw more of the poop deck than anything else. What’s even more surprising, the ship on which the the outbreak of diarrhea occurred, Celebrity Cruise Lines’ “Mercury,” had two outbreaks last year. Let’s just say you want to stay away from the hot tub on that boat.

Moving forward–whether you want to or not
Akio Toyoda, the president of Toyota, (much like William C. Fort is the head of Ford) testified before Congress this week over the recalls his company has been hit with and the recent memos bragging about a 2007 deal with the federal government that have surfaced recently. During his testimony, Toyoda said the company will work hard to regain consumer trust and fix the issues. In other news, even this isn’t helping General Motors’ sales.

You Missed It: Coming in hot edition

Greetings from the worst winter our nation’s capital his had in 100 years! Yes, as I write this, I am braving out a storm that is supposed to put the snowfall for the winter over the top and make it the snowiest winter in a decade. On top of that, we are supposed to get nearly two fraggle-rocking feet of snow before it’s all over. Anyway, enough about me and my world coming to an end. Let’s get down to business. If you were busy partying with teabaggers, odds are you missed it.

A screeching halt
Remember the days when American car companies sucked and Japanese car companies’ profits soared? Things have changed. Ford now sucks slightly less, and Toyota has more or less crapped the bed. After that pesky gas pedal recalls that happened last week (months after a family was killed because of it), Toyota also issued a recall on the brake pedals of their Prius hybrid cars. The company said that owners can tell if they have faulty brakes if fails to slow from its top speed of 15 mph.

Mel Gibson would like to tell you how he feels about you
Actor Mel Gibson is mounting a comeback not only in the movie theaters, but in the headlines as well. Everyone’s favorite alcoholic member of Opus Dei had to explain himself when during a television interview with a Chicago reporter he muttered a word we can’t repeat here, but let’s just say it contained the words “ass” (which we can say) and “hole.” Gibson later apologized via text message, saying the comment was aimed at his publicist, not the reporter. He blamed the mishap on the Jews.

The beginning of the end of a show that will never actually answer anything
Lost returned this week to the delight of millions (including several people in my office). The show is now in its final season, with more mysteries than ever, like parallel universes, people who are dead and aren’t dead, and much, much more. In related news, I still don’t care about this show. World, please stop asking me my thoughts on it.

Take it from Snee: Street, street justice!

As a driver, I happen to know that I am the very best driver there is.

Don’t pretend it isn’t true. Fess up. You’ve got tickets. There was that little fender-bender a few years ago. And that was somebody’s grandmother you just flipped off.

I, however, have no such issues. My relatively few tickets and whoopsies (“accidents” are so formal) weren’t due to driver incompetence; they were because of booze. And we all know that alcoholism is a disease. You wouldn’t blame someone’s tumor for groping you in the elevator, right? Right.

But maintaining my flawless (sober) record is wearing my nerves out. I’ve raised the bar very slowly the past 10 years, dispelling the naysayers with commute after commute of form-perfect driving, but you other drivers refuse to follow my example.

Well, no more Mr. Nice Guy! You’ve caught me in between my annual Labor Day Weekend Mad Max Trilogy Parties*, so I’m itching for street justice! I won’t be sated until red lights are obeyed, blood is on the street or AMC runs those movies very, very soon.

Here’s how it’s gonna go down: Continue reading Take it from Snee: Street, street justice!