Their enlargened heart fits due to their enlargened cup size

It’s just about Christmas time, people: less than two weeks! And as you, and you, and you, and I all know, the reason for the season is what?

Strippers! No, I mean, kids. But what if we could combine the two?

Hold on, please don’t contact the local authorities or the FBI yet, as it’s not technically my idea. The idea actually belongs to the Admiral Theatre in Chicago. Yes, the Admiral Theatre has decided that this week, and this week only, kind and generous patrons that bring in an unwrapped, unused toy will get a free lap dance. Though it’s said that the free lap dance is limited to one per customer, it doesn’t say just one in a week.

Be kind and generous! You can help stimulate the economy by buying and toy and in doing so, help stimulate, ummm … your wallet holder. Yes, that’s what we’ll go with.