Not so Happy Meal now

The San Francisco city board passed a bill that bans “restaurants from handing out toys with meals that fail to meet basic nutritional standards for fat, calories, and sodium.” The target of the bill is the McDonald’s Happy Meal, which famously lures children in once a week to get the latest plastic movie tie-in.

However, if San Francisco really cared, they’d get rid of McDonald’s Monopoly, which convinces stupid people to eat there every day.

It’s a sad day for Happy Meals

Unhappy times are ahead for those who love Happy Meals in Santa Clara, California. It’s being reported that Santa Clara County has approved a ban on the promotional toys that often accompany kids’ meals at fast-food spots like McDonald’s, Burger King and Taco Bell. The toys must be discontinued unless the restaurants can institute a voluntary program in the next 90 days that improves the nutritional offerings. Yeah, that’s easy to do.

According to ordinance sponsor Ken Yeager, “This ordinance prevents restaurants from preying on children’s love of toys. This ordinance breaks the link between unhealthy food and prizes.”

Childhood obesity and diabetes is on the rise in the U.S., and Santa Clara is taking a route that goes above parental roles in healthy eating and targets the food itself. The ban will create massive havoc for franchise owners in Santa Clara, even if Happy Meal toys were better back in my day.

What could this ultimately lead to? Families driving across county lines just for some plastic. And Happy Meal toys.

Barbie beatz Bratz, lawsuitz beatz dollz, salez beatz dollz

It’s like the perpetual Ro-sham-bo. The gist, summed up: there’s been a legal battle between Mattel and MGA over copyright violation and breach of contract over the Bratz dolls, originally developed by Carter Bryant while working at Mattel. Judgment has been made, and if left to stand, means that MGA has to stop making all Bratz products after the end of the year.

So, what’s a Bratz doll? Simply put, it’s a doll that feels that noses are facial deformities. They’re like pouty-lipped, apathetic looking emo girls, but made trendy and in high heels. Think of them like little plastic strumpets. Strumpets that will eat your soul.

But are they gone for good? With their vast, predatory eyes? Perhaps, perhaps not. A few thoughts after the cut. Continue reading Barbie beatz Bratz, lawsuitz beatz dollz, salez beatz dollz

Take it from Snee: Toys suck anyway

Alright, so I’m getting married this weekend. This means two things:

  1. There will be no writing from me next week because I’ll be in Bermuda.
  2. I’m going to write some crap about growing up, becoming a man, etc.

Interestingly enough, point number two seems to be a popular theme this week, as my old friend Charles Smith (an alias to be sure) has his own opinions about it in Whim this week.

Yep, it was about when I worried about having hemorrhoids on my honeymoon that I realized I’m acting more and more like a grown-up. So it’s time to put away childish things, or toys, and embrace the things of men.

Video games stay, though, because they’re not toys. They’re training files should the government ever require my services as a fighter pilot/secret agent/Italian stereotype that squashes pizza ingredients.

The Star Wars figures are just that: figures, as in they will one day be worth several figures and finance my retirement or crippling gambling addiction. They stay.

Everything else, though, is gone. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Toys suck anyway