A huge announcement was made today, which could really change the game for someone with a bit of a “Google problem.”
No, that “someone” isn’t Rick S@ntorum. Even as a comedy site, we still try to focus on viable presidential candidates. (And we’ve written about both Palin and Trump in our archives.) Plus, we’re trying to stay Safe For Work.
We’re actually talking about Cleveland, which has been trying to shake off what we assume started as an innocent reference to their carpet cleaning business. But, will this latest attempt work, and is it worth it?
Just in case you weren’t sure, nobody wants to see you kiss. And Dubai isn’t gonna put up with your cutesy public displays of affection anymore.
Also, quit holding hands. You look like you’re eight when you cross the street together.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Blackwater nicknaming ritual …
Sgt. Blutarsky: From now on, your Blackwater nickname is “Weasel.”
From now on, your name is “Mothball.”
Kroger, your Blackwater nickname is “Pinto.”
Kroger: Why “Pinto?”
Sgt. Blutarsky: [belches] Why not?!
Dorfman: What’s my Blackwater name?
Sgt. Blutarsky: Dorfman, I’ve given this a lot of thought. From now on … your name is “Savage Viking.”
Dorfman: … “Savage Viking?“
Apparently, Blackwater’s attorneys think it reflects poorly on their defendants when their mercenary nicknames are used in court during muder trials. Really, who would convict someone named “Murder” of murder based solely on their name? That seems awfully “Extreme” or even “Savage.”
Let this blog state for the record that I want my Blackwater nickname to be Jagged Metal Cock.
(Special thanks to Matt Staggs.)