There must always be a stout in Winterfell

HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones, and the book series it is fashioned after, has established quite the loyal following, so it’s time to cash in. The obvious choice would be GOT mobile games, but HBO zigged instead. Introducing Game of Thrones beer.

Brewery Ommegang in Cooperstown, N.Y. will be brewing Iron Throne Blonde Ale in time for the season three, with more brews sure to come. They should come with a warning that if you consume more than two, every brown-haired, bearded white guy on the show looks the same.

Really, HBO? Why not start with a Boardwalk Empire bathtub gin? Or a True Blood red wine? Any beverage associated with The Newsroom would have to just be a hangover, as the drink happened a while ago and we can now see the consequences of it.

Nightstalkers are jaywalkers

It’s obvious that vampires are en vogue lately, thanks to Twilight and True Blood and the like. But in the midst of all this, we are forgetting the real issue here: vampires don’t actually like us very much.

In Colorado, a woman told police that she ended up in a ditch when she saw a vampire on the dirt road she was on that night. It was blocking her path, so the began backing up, but that did not end so well. The cops don’t think that alcohol or drugs contributed to the crash, so that means they’re real.

We thought only vampires cried tears of blood

A Tennessee teenager is either an extremely devout fan of True Blood or a scientific mystery. Fifteen-year old Calvino Inman has been crying out tears of blood on the regular, with no explanation as to why regular tears don’t form, unless of course, he is a blood-sucking vampire.

In related news Robert Smith is extremely sad and emo that his three decade pursuit of crying something other than tears has been a failure.