Tag: two and a half men

Half man! Half man! Half man!*

*As an apology for writing about Two and a Half Men, the Guys have used a line from a far superior show to try to make up for it. Sorry.

Chuck Lorre, creator of Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory and Lawyer Porks the Granola Out of Some Hippie Chick

Angus T. Jones, the “half” in Two and a Half Men since he was 10 years old, has turned 19 and realized what most people do as they mature: that his show is garbage. Its scripts are generally what 1 Corinthians describes as speaking, thinking and reasoning as a child, which Angus — reaching the age of manhood — has decided to put away. Meanwhile, showrunner Chuck Lorre will continue to write exactly like this, whether on this show or in the six-season-long wedgie he’s been giving to nerds on The Big Bang Theory.

If Jones is legit, then godspeed. If he’s merely pulling a fake Kirk Cameron because even Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher couldn’t destroy Two and a Half Men, then may his contract be short and found non-binding.

We can understand his point of view

Not everyone is a fan of Charlie Sheen. It’s suspected that Rachel Oberlin is not, and Emilio Estevez might not be one (the jury’s still out). We suspect, though, that Freddy Caldwell is someone who joins their ranks, though exponentially so.

It’s being reported that Caldwell allegedly called a local channel and threatened to blow up the station if they continued to show reruns of Two And A Half Men. We don’t know for sure, but SG’s own Secret Agent Snee is currently on the investigation regarding the chair-people of the Ashton Kutcher fan club.

Coke and porn stars only funny when implied?

Now that Egypt’s Jasmine Revolution is over as far as Americans are concerned, we can resume our focus on domestic issues. And that domestic issue is Charlie Sheen.

In the latest chapter of what will undoubtably fill future history books, Chuck Lorre–creator of Two and a Half Men–has called Sheen out in those two-second long screens at the end of his shows’ credits. With shooting on hiatus until Sheen gets his porn star and coke habit in control, Lorre wrote that he will be pissed if Sheen outlives him.

Seriously? A show is on hold because the lead actor in a show loosely based on his actual life because of porn stars and coke? Just move the cameras to his house and start taping off the cuff. The kid’s old enough for his own Valtrex prescription, so let’s dump with the innuendo and make Jon Cryer really uncomfortable on set.

It’s gotta be more interesting than whatever Kardashians do.

It’s good to be the Sheen

In today’s job market, one wrong tweet or photograph can get you fired faster than Charlie Sheen at an AA sponsorship.

What’s that? Charlie Sheen’s antics with ex-wives, porn stars and kids (oh my!) were in the freaking newspaper, and CBS is merely “concerned?”

It probably helps that he’s currently playing a tamer version of himself on a show that wins awards keeps making money, but damn, actors’ unions just beat teachers’ unions.