Guns don’t just make your penis look larger

As we’ve already learned today, beer makes you smarter. But, you know what will make you look taller and more muscular, too? Holding a gun.

According to research from UCLA’s Center for Behavior, Evolution and Culture, people shown pictures of hands holding guns are more likely to overestimate the height and muscularity of the man holding it by an entire two inches. Meanwhile, hands holding caulk guns and power drills were seen as merely compensatory (hand tools being the Ferraris of the man accoutrement world)  and subtracted inches.

So, pull your piece in public. And, thanks to more states allowing guns in bars, you can show off your juggling skills with your gun, beer and trivia buzzer. (They laughed at you for going to Clown College, but who’s laughing now? Nobody, you big man, you.)