So, you hate your job? Today a bad day? Want to quit, but too afraid of the job market right now? Here’s your afternoon pick-me-up:
“A vaccine to prevent HIV infection, the virus that leads to AIDS, has shown modest results for the first time.”
Oo, awesome news!
“Previous vaccine trials failed to prevent infection. And during one trial, the vaccine seemed to boost the chance of being infected, which ended testing early.”
Uh, but that’s not the case now, right?
“The new study was conducted in Thailand, with more than 16,000 people between ages 18 and 30 participating. They were all HIV negative at the beginning of the trial.”
… And?
“Nearly 8,200 received a placebo and a similar number received a combination of six vaccines over six months. All were followed for three years.”
“A placebo,” you say?
“Researchers found that those who received the vaccine combination were 31 percent less likely to contract HIV compared with those on a placebo.”
Really? Placebos don’t prevent HIV infection?
“Fifty-one people in the vaccine group eventually contracted HIV, compared with 74 in the placebo group.”
F#%k. They hired people to get AIDS. Did they inject them in the research lab, or just follow them around the streets of Bangcock while they had unprotected sex with shared needles?
But, that’s not all:
“[Colonel Jerome Kim, U.S. Army,] cautioned that a lot more research was necessary, because the vaccine did not prevent everyone from being infected.”
So, they’re still hiring! Time to quit that job and move to Thailand!
I was a little worried yesterday. I thought for sure that, since Schools’ column was yesterday, that he’d beat me to the punch writing about the world’s greatest holiday: Flag Day. Fortunately, I awoke very late and hungover to find an Eat My Sports that focused solely on that baskety-ball thing all the Jameses are playing these days.