Someone bought Hitler’s underwear for some reason

Hitler’s underwear went on the auction block last week and you missed out on it–unless of course you’re the highest bidder.

An auction house in Maryland sold a pair of Adolf Hitler’s underwear, fetching $6,737. The monogrammed white boxers were said to have been left at an Austrian hotel after the Nazi leader stayed there in 1938. The hotel owner’s grandson sold the weird item.

Some readers may recall that Eva Braun’s panties were auctioned off just last year. Turns out both pairs of Nazi underwear were sold at the same auction house, Alexander Historical Auctions.

So if you’ve got some creepy OG Nazi stuff you want to unload (and alt right rallies show the market is hot right now), apparently Maryland is open for business.

Brits keep flushing underwear, clogging sewers

Citizens of one town in the U.K. are being politely asked not to flush their underwear down the toilet, or “loo,” after a large pair of granny panties caused a clog in the sewer system.

Here in the U.S., we discard our underwear in the trash, but the Europeans do everything weirder than us. According to authorities, the sewer system in Cheltenham, U.K., suffered from a massive clog, thanks to one woman’s flushed undies. This isn’t an isolated incident. Flushed “knickers” 50,000 blockages in the area’s sewer systems every year.

We understand that with any sizable human population, there are going to be a few cases of soiled undies every year, but tens of thousands? Do the Brits not believe in throwing the evidence in the rubbish bin? Are U.K. toilets just more powerful than their American counterparts?

Oh snap

It’s an impulse we fight every day: Should I snap the elastic of someone else’s underwear? And apparently it’s a battle French Finance Minister Michel Sapin is no stranger to.

According to a book by two French journalists, Sapin snapped the exposed elastic of an unnamed female journalist’s underwear while at while at the World Economic Forum in Switzerland last year. Sapin has categorically denied the accusations. But because he’s French, we’re inclined to believe it totally happened.

It’s comforting to know that even a powerful man at a powerful conference can be immature. He’s human, even if that human is 10 years old.

We’re losing the war on panty lines

According to a recent report, an industry widely considered vital to the U.S. economy is in peril, and it seems logical to fear for American jobs. It seems that thongs aren’t selling so well anymore.

Sixteen years after Sisqo’s four-minute-long commercial for them, thongs are struggling to appeal to a younger generation of women. In fact, sales are down 7%, while wider, less flattering forms of women’s underwear are up. And this in the revival of the booty. Clearly, the songs are telling women what part of their bodies are attractive, but they’re not telling women what to wear on that part.

We learned the harsh lesson of panty lines back in the 1980s. We can ill afford to go back to those dark days. Ladies, it’s up to you.

Canadian lawmaker misses vote because of underwear

Sure, Congress sucks. They can’t get anything done and everyone hates them. But it could be worse. At least they’re not a parliament.

Earlier this week, you saw members of Turkey’s parliament fight during a discussion of a controversial bill, but we’ve got something worse. In Canada, a member of parliament was forced to leave his seat during a vote because his underwear was too small, in what might be the highest-profile humblebrag Canada has ever seen.

Pat Martin told the House of Commons that he accidentally bought underwear a size too small, and he bought a lot because they were half price. The problem is that it’s uncomfortable for him to sit down. That’s exactly why John Boehner goes commando.

Wearing less gets you more

Crazy sales by retail outlets aren’t exactly unheard of. Now, I’m not exactly talking about Black Friday. I’m talking about the crazy sales that involve pre-buying stipulations. Maybe you need to show up to the store in a duck costume. Maybe you need to take part in a scavenger hunt. Perhaps there’s a treasure box that only your key can open.

Or, you can be like the Desigual store in Spain and offer a free top and bottom to the first 100 customers that show up in just their underwear. Oh, and I should mention this took place on Monday, so it’s kinda cold.

Also, so that you know, the link may possibly be Not Safe For Work, as there are lots of people in their skivvies, the majority of which are dudes. In their skimpy skivvies. That have potentially decided to not let the cold affect their, um … reputation.

Maybe they should send their moms up to the ISS

We already have a pretty good idea of how astronauts go to the bathroom. (It involves a vacuum cleaner and true grit.) We know how they eat. (Acrobatically.) We even know how they sleep. (Restrained to a wall because you’d have to be insane to eat and go to the bathroom in space.)

But, do you know how they do their laundry? Neither do they.

To date, they’ve been living the high life, wearing their underwear fresh out of the pack and then incinerating them. But, a new washing machine on the International Space Station could force them to live like the rest of us: wearing each pair until they run out, putting on swim trunks and washing them in a new low-power, low- water washing machine.

At least now we know that our collection of astronaut undies were a fraud.

Holding out for a Big Galloot

The Guys and Bonnie Tyler agree with today’s Headline of the Day: where have the Big Galloots gone?

For those of you who don’t special order your underwear, the “Big Galloots” are a pair of men’s briefs that, at 8-feet, hold the record for World’s Largest Men’s Underpants. They were housed in the City Museum in St. Louis, but now? Gone, baby, gone like yesterday’s elastic.

They were reportedly last seen surrounding St. Louis mayor’s spokesperson, Kara Bowlin, until she nearly broke into tears. If found in her possession, this would be the second largest stain on her career since that fateful day.

(Via Michael J. Nelson. Yeah, that one.)

No more pencils, no more tookuses

Thanks to a bill signed by Gov. Mike Beebe, Arkansas’ long statewide nightmare is finally over.

Baggy pants are officially banned from public schools by law, which defines them as clothing that exposes the wearer’s underwear or buttocks.

A few critics in the state legislature that voted against it argued that the bill stymies students’ individual expression. Also, in its mere two days of enactment, the bill has resulted in higher water bills as all plumbers are now banned from approaching within 50 yards of a school zone.

And one question will still linger

No longer will we ever be able to find out who dealt it.

Ever wanted to ‘pass gas’ while sitting next to your significant other in a movie theater, but couldn’t because you just ate that bag of sour cream and onion potato chips? Well, thanks to Japan, now you can! Seiren, a Japanese textile company, developed a series of special deodorizing undershorts called Inoidore Shukan Shoshu that can reduce odor by 80 percent in 30 seconds. It is comprised of a special textile that contains ceramic particles and metallic ions with fibers, which helps absorb stink particles.

Seiren is confident with their product. They spent two and half years developing it, even going so far as to perform stink tests at home. Ew. Of course, something this cool is going to be expensive, at 4,800 moonbucks yen (approximately 49 dollars US and change) each. Still, think of the relief that you’ll be able to take part in. Worry not, you don’t have to hold it in any longer since they are available now in Japan. They are nice and everything, but you still can’t remove the sound, which is perhaps worse than the smell. No matter, give them a couple more years and they will have briefs that can solve that problem too!