Ye like me cannonballs, don’t ye?

pr1Pirates are sexy. That’s just a reality. From Johnny Depp to Davy Jones, women just cannot get enough of those toothless, peg legged, diseased pirates.

We all know that pirates have been making the headlines lately, especially this week when an American captain was taken hostage, but then the U.S. of A. showed them that we didn’t fight the Barbary Wars (look it up) for nothing. Now, it seems that Somali women are flocking to ports so that they can marry a pirate. This is of course because of their goatees and rather large hats.

Then again, maybe it’s because they could be the only ones in Somalia with money. Who knows?

Domestically, we find pirates as sexy as ever, and the University of Maryland is no exception. They got in a bit of hot water recently when the students planned to screen Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge, a porn movie that shows once again, pirates are so sexy, even the female ones can’t help but jump each other. (No, there was is no cameo by Long John Silver.) When the state government found out, the legislature threatened to cut the school’s funding.

And that, me hearties, is a threat no pirate can take.

In response, the students held a rally and a discussion about free speech. Then they showed a few scenes from the historically-accurate film, none of which had booty in them.