Science still trying to figure out Chuck Berry

Bruce Springsteen may make you think that he’s there for the working class man. Jon Bon Jovi may have you think that the man is an outlaw with a heart of gold. Jack White would you have believe that you can play any instrument as long as you try and stay funky. John Mayer wants to you to see him as a sexual object made for the pleasure of women around the world. Joan Jett needs you to believe in the power of women and rocking out! You know what all of these people don’t have you thinking?

That not being white is the bee’s knees.

At least, that’s what science is telling us now. According to a study coming from the University of Minnesota, rock music makes people racist, in regards to preference.

After listening to Bruce Springsteen and the White Stripes, the students handed most of the money to white people. ‘Rock music is generally associated with white Americans, so we believe it cues white listeners to think about their positive association with their own in-group,’ said Heather LaMarre, an assistant professor of journalism and mass communication at the University of Minnesota. That was enough for them to show more support for a student group representing mostly whites.’

The Roots and the spectre of Chuck Berry’s meter long king kong ding dong could not be available for questions.

We’ve said it for years (on the inside)

And it's only been two weeks.For years, we’ve said over and over again that it’s not sex that screws up young people, it’s the relationships they get into to “make it right.”

Researchers at the University of Minnesota surveyed 1300 young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 “about their most recent sexual encounters, their self-esteem and their emotional well-being.” The overall status of people who listed their last experience as casual was no different than those in a committed relationship with their partner.

No different.

This makes perfect sense. Do you know how hard it is to convince the person your with that you’re not a total scumbag? For a casual hook-up, that masquerade only lasts for a night, which doesn’t count comatose hours. But, stretch that act out over time, and by the end of three months, you don’t know who you are anymore. All that method acting has left you more confused and self-loathing than Robert Downey, Jr. at the end of Tropic Thunder.

So, keep it casual. Your brain will thank you.