Tag: urology

Making your cat a better lover

There are two kinds of medical research: the kind that develops cures for diseases for the betterment of humanity, and then there’s the boner meds that pay for the loftier former.

Since this is a SeriouslyGuys post, we’re addressing your Johnson & Johnson.

Researchers have discovered a spray that could prevent premature ejaculation. That’s their phrasing. Really, it’s delaying normal ejaculation, because it’s not like the premature ejaculate goes away.

The spray incorporates lidocaine and prilocaine, so when applied to the penis it should not only reduce sensitivity for longer lovemaking, but also judo board-breaking and snake wrestling. If, however, it is applied to the eyes, then ejaculation is postponed indefinitely.

Dr Ira Sharlip, clinical professor of urology at the University of California said he got the idea from training cats.

Doctor prefers Republican penises

Dr. Jack Cassell of Florida (where else?) put a sign on his door: “If you voted for Obama … seek urologic care elsewhere.”

Cassell defended his sign, saying that he’s not actively turning patients away, “but if they read the sign and turn the other way,” then it f#%king worked. So, if you disagree with the pee-pee doctor’s politics, then you’re just gonna have to care for your new Candiru yourself.

Personally, we applaud Cassell’s efforts. It’s not every day that a doctor let’s you know he’s lousy at his profession before you even walk in the door. That’s service.