Tag: us government

President Obama doesn’t like Empire people

Back in December, we gave you a heads up about how nerds made use of the White House’s petition website to ask for the construction of a Death Star. It seemed like such an outlandish idea that there’s no reason for President Obama’s administration to acknowledge it.

Wrong.

The White House has officially responded to the petition. Showing Obama’s rebel traits and fondness for the home planet of Jimmy Smits, Paul Shawcross, a science and space adviser, responded on the website that not only would the space station that’s not a moon would be too costly, but the creation of such would go against its stance on not supporting the blowing up of planets.

Also, there’s this:

a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon

Nerds decide to use the dark side of the force and internet for their liking

Prepare to be shocked. We’ve finally encountered a group of individuals that like both the original Star Wars trilogy and the prequel trilogy. How can I make such a proclamation?

Because a group of people are petitioning the United States government to create the Death Star.

For those unaware, the prequel trilogy was full of government and politics…boring, boring, boring government and politics. Hey, just like our world! And the original trilogy was full of big planet-destroying satellites that weren’t moons (and some other stuff, maybe). Through the power of the petitions.whitehouse.gov site, a group of nerds concerned constituents have asked our government to fund the creation of the laser base by the year 2016. How will they do that, when we’re going through rough economic times?

We can only assume via tariffs and sanctions placed upon vaguely racist alien races.

Redtape their blowholes shut!

The U.S. government does not typically have much in common with Lifetime War on Animals Achievement winner Japan. This blog believes we told them to “go tentacle rape themselves” when they presented their Kyoto Clean Air Agreement.

However, we have adopted one of their better habits: allowing whales to die.

Because of “confusion” between several government agencies, our government is unable to prevent the “accidental” killings of right whales*, which now number in the 300s. Whoopsies!

*Fun Fact:
The right whale got it’s name from whalers(!) because “their mellow personalities, shallow feeding habits and lumbering, 70-ton bodies made them the easiest, or the right, whales to kill.” Now that’s how you name a species!

We completely understand, feds. Keeping “boaters” and “fishers” from “accidentally” killing whales is very difficult to manage. It’s a tragedy, but what can we do about it?