The best part about a vacation is that you get to travel to a new place and drink there. The only down side is that if you get drunk, you may not find your way home. But that’s just part of the adventure, isn’t it?
An Estonian man on vacation in the Italian Alps got drunk and thought he was heading back to his hotel, but ended up hiking halfway up a mountain. According to reports, the drunk man took a wrong turn and headed up a hiking path, and was forced to break into a bar (divine providence!) to stay warm for the night.
He was found by bar staff the next morning with a great drinking story.
Our favorite government-sanctioned four day weekend is almost upon us! Normally, this just means drinking (more) on a Wednesday. But, a new survey indicates that 59 percent of us will check our work email over the break.
If that wasn’t bad enough, of those who will be in to eat turducken “in just a minute,” 41 percent will report to be annoyed to have actually found work-related email in their inbox.
People, there are better and less sad ways to avoid your family than pretending to work–only to receive actual work to do. There’s always:
- Food comas.
- Bringing a fake “life partner” to dinner.
- Injuring and then taking someone to the emergency room after the family football game.
A long time ago, a man named Columbus discovered the New World for Europeans. He explored the vast new land found in several voyages, and brought civilization (and smallpox) to the local native population. We celebrate that event by giving a handful of people a Monday off. If you are one of them, I hate you. If you were busy blowing up the moon, odds are you missed it.
It’s not special if everybody gets one
President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this week, despite only being in office for 11 days before the nomination deadline. Obama is widely credited for his peaceful negotiations that convinced the Bush administration to vacate the White House. He joins Theodore Roosevelt (who won for letting the Japanese and Russians kill each other for a while) and Woodrow Wilson (who peacefully told Germany that the Great War was all their fault, solving the problem forever) as the only sitting presidents to win the prize.
The parks that booze built
Anheuser Busch InBev said this week that it would sell the theme parks it picked up when InBev bought Anheuser Busch. Say, Disney’s been buying up stuff lately. Maybe they’ll be interested. Then you could get tanked with Tinkerbell!
‘This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy’
Did you think you had seen the last of the Vacation movies? Man, you were wrong! We’re going to get ANOTHER damn movie, only this time, it’s going to be following Rusty and his family. Which Rusty we’ll be following remains to be seen.
Vacation is one of the few good things in the average life. At least one of the few things you can look forward to as you plan out.
When you’re a kid, every day is exciting. Bad days really aren’t so bad. A lot of the world is new to you, so you are excited any time you travel. The holidays are no exception. But as you get older events like the holidays became more of a hassle. Besides, everyone has them off.
One of the best parts about a vacation is that the whole time, if you choose to think about work, you can remind yourself that those other poor schmucks are still in the office while you’re laying out in the sun on the beach. But then when you get back, those same people have their hands out. “What did you bring me?” Continue reading The McBournie Minute: No, I didn’t bring you any candy
I am just back from a week-long vacation at the beach–I know you missed me, but let’s avoid the joyful reunion in the interest of saving us both some time.
At the beach, one can find many things, like seaweed, shells and overweight white people. One can look across the sand dunes and see and endless horizon of umbrellas, towels, chairs and even the occasional kite. Aside from the annoying gulls, screaming children, sand blowing in your face, radios on way too loud and Speedos, the beach can be a very relaxing place to spend one’s time. That is until a new threat emerged: Crocs. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: What a bunch of Croc