Take it from Snee: Women are mysterious

In recent news, the smartest man on wheels, Stephen Hawking revealed that he, too, spends most of his time thinking about women. And I, for one, feel much better for knowing that, because I also find women to be “a complete mystery,” as Professor Hawking put it.

However, I am concerned because, again, if Stephen Hawking — the man who has informed our current understanding of black holes — has yet to unravel the mystery that is women, then what chance do we have of ever solving these riddles. Riddles like: Continue reading Take it from Snee: Women are mysterious

This won’t be abused at all

Besides testing out a version of football that doesn’t allow the use of hands, the 2010 World Cup is also an experiment for a new anti-rape condom.

Rape-aXe is the brainchild of South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers. It is a latex condom worn inside the vagina that is lined with “teeth-like hooks” that latch onto a rapist’s penis. Any attempts to remove the device by hand will cause it to constrict tighter, but will not break the skin.

Rape may never be funny, but the prank potential of anti-rape devices is hilarious. Like, say you find somebody’s Fleshlight or Real Doll.

Robert Pattinson: gayer than we thought

Look, we all knew that Twilight star Robert Pattinson was a little less than manly when he dawned the silver screen with sparkly vampire skin. But now, Pattinson is confirming his fall from heterosexuality with an allergy, an allergy to vaginas.

What? You with nose in the book, Team Edward t-shirt, spiriling social life and no sense of reality, you don’t believe me? Read ’em and weep.

That’s what we’re talking aboot, Canada!

Canada’s second oldest magazine (the first being fashion mag Beauty, Ey?), The Beaver, is finally–after 90 years–changing its name. As of April, it will be titled Canada’s History, which is rich in hockey, lumberjacking and their controversial SNL training camps, in which children are enrolled by the age of four.

Editor-in-chief Mark Reid said that the change is in response to a lack of female readers.

“‘Market research showed us that younger Canadians and women were very very unlikely to ever buy a magazine called The Beaver no matter what it’s about,’ said Reid, adding he has mixed feelings about the name change. ‘For whatever reasons, they are turned off by the name.'”

Well, good for you, Canadiennes! Way to ensure that the focus of Canada’s history remains on humans and not on animals, particularly ones that are trying to steal our trees and water!